We All Need This

I want to start out by saying that I have a beautiful life. Not perfect by any means, but it is a life that many would be envious of. So why, with all of this living beautifully, do I get so caught up in the mess? One minute I’m on cloud nine and the next I’m wondering how I could have ever been so naive.

I’m fairly certain that all of us have been there. Maybe it’s a job, a relationship, our kiddos… everything is perfect, and we can’t imagine anything going wrong or derailing the bliss… and then the bliss seems to be lost completely.

We have – and I say we because I’m assuming that there are more people out there in the world like me – we have this horrible practice of either thinking that the people of the Bible were so much greater in their faith than us, or they were the stupidest people around. We fail, it seems, to see both at the same time… it’s either one or the other. It’s either their strengths or their weaknesses.

And most of the time, we only see their strengths.

Abraham was considered righteous because he believed… but he lied, he doubted, and he did things his own way. Moses was so close to God that God Himself buried him… but Moses murdered an Egyptian, threw temper tantrums about the Israelites, and misrepresented God – he wasn’t even allowed in the Promised Land.

We – the infamous we again – read about people like Elijah (I Kings & II Kings) and instantly feel as though we’re lacking. We’re lacking power, faith, and all the things that would make us usable by God. I’ve never stood up to an entire nation, I’ve never called down fire from heaven, I’ve never been fed by ravens, and I’ve never raised anyone – or anything – from the dead. Have you?

Another big one is the faith of David. He killed a lion and bear before he faced Goliath (scholars estimate his age at that time as somewhere between 16-19). He was a shrimp compared to the regular soldiers and here he was staring down a literal giant! He wore no armor (too big and too heavy) and wielded a sling shot and a handful of rocks… that’s not even as good as bringing a knife to a gunfight.

David killed a bear, a lion, a giant, waited patiently for the throne (15 years after he was anointed), and refused to kill Saul even though Saul was out for David’s blood. David even mourned Saul’s death! He went from a scrawny giant-slaying youth to a mighty warrior king who is known as a man after God’s own heart.

We see their strengths and the power of their testimonies.

But just like Elijah, I have thrown temper tantrums. I’ve been afraid, I’ve been doubtful, I’ve felt outnumbered, and I’ve felt alone. Let me guess: this is a we thing, isn’t it? Like Daivd, I’ve prayed the panicked prayers (not faith-filled at all), I’ve made poor choices when I’ve not been doing what I was supposed to be doing, and I’ve made additional poor choices as a reaction to the original poor choice. Yeah, I bet it’s a we thing.

A lot of us see this, we recognize our humanness, and we assume that we can’t possibly be used by God. We look at our failings and our response is that we can’t be a voice, an example, or a light for anyone out there who might be struggling. And it’s all because we believe the lie that we’re not worthy.

Whether or not that’s a we… I know for a fact that it’s a me.

Like Elijah, I’ve had those moments of crying out… I’ve had enough, Lord… I’m no better… (I Kings 19:4).

When I think of all the lost bliss – whether it’s in my profession, my relationships, or with my kiddos – I can’t seem to help but think about how unusable I am to God. I have horrible thoughts of being a fraud – how can I possibly write anything that will point people to God’s goodness when I struggle at times to see it for myself?

How can I tell anyone to give their hurts and doubts to God when I’m holding tight to mine?

How can I encourage anyone to seek His peace when I find myself so very far away from it?

How can I tell people that God is so good – beyond all that we can possibly comprehend – when I’m struggling to see His goodness in significant areas of my life?

As I’ve been struggling with this, I keep coming back to something David did. Not just once, but over and over again.

Horrible things would happen to David, whether his own dumb fault or because of someone else, and he would take a moment to feel it. It’s pretty impossible to not feel pain in this life – even Jesus took some time in His feelings, and we’re told that He cried (John 11:32-36). But in short order, David would follow his human moments of sorrow, fear, doubt, and shame with something we (mostly me) seem to overlook:

…But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God… I Samuel 30:4b NASB

This word, strengthened, is from the Hebrew word châzaq (Strong’s H2388). I wasn’t super surprised by what I read when I looked into this word a bit more. It means to be strengthened (a bit obvious), to take courage (of course), but it also means to secure oneself. When I read this, it wasn’t the definition that jumped out at me. What I noticed over everything else was that this word is a verb… it’s a word that implies an action taken.

I’m a bit hard-headed (perhaps that’s a we). I know this – I have to take action in order to be strengthened in God – but sometimes, like Elijah, I just need some quality sleep and someone else to cook. There are times that I just want to throw my fists in the air and scream that I’m done! I’ve had enough!

But that’s when God sees fit to take action Himself. In I Kings 19:3-18, God doesn’t send ravens to provide Elijah with sustenance… or a voice of encouragement. Scripture tells us that it’s the angel of the Lord who feeds Elijah, allows him to sleep a bit longer, and then feeds him again.

Elijah is able to get away from the noise – all the things that have burdened his heart and struck him with fear – and he’s able to get back on the right path and back in the right mindset. God didn’t go through and remind Elijah of all the miraculous things that Elijah had done (God doing it through him). Instead, it seemed important to God that Elijah remembered Who to listen to.

We need this, too. We need to not just recognize Who we need to hear, but we need to be in a place to hear Him. We need to remember, especially for those tough times of lost bliss, what His voice sounds like and what He has to say about us. We need to be purposeful in our actions to strengthen ourselves in the Lord.

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT

I don’t want to be firmly planted in a popular social media influencer’s podcast, be intimately familiar with holistic medicinal practices and tincture making or have the top rank on an online game if it means I struggle to hear my Father’s voice. I don’t want getting my steps in to take the place of getting more familiar with the One who created me and gave His life for me.

This isn’t just me… we all need this. We all need to strengthen ourselves in the Lord our God. We all need to take a nap, eat a good meal, and position ourselves to hear God’s voice.

If we give our roots the opportunity to go deeper and deeper, we won’t get to the point of crying out that we’re done, or that we’ve had enough. As we become more secure in our relationship with God, we won’t feel the insecurities that we’re constantly battling in this world.

We all need this.