When I’ve thought back on my relationship with God, I can’t help but marvel at how incredibly hard-headed I can be. I hear truth, I know truth, yet I’m consistently questioning truth or ignoring it altogether. Maybe you can relate. It’s a bit similar to what Paul wrote in the book of Romans:
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. Romans 7:15 NLT
When I was an alcoholic, I would be driving to the store to get my drinks of choice and would know that I should go back home. I knew what regrets I would have if I started my drinking for the day. I knew… yet I still made the drive to the store, I still made the purchase, still mixed the drink… and I still drank myself into oblivion. I knew – I knew that it was hurting my family and myself – yet that knowledge didn’t stop me.
If you’ve been following this blog, then you’ve probably read bits and pieces of my testimony. You’ve read that from one moment to the next, I received deliverance from the bondage of drinking. I had chains keeping me bound one minute and shattered shackles the next. There were waves and waves of tears, but no withdrawal symptoms. And to this day, alcohol isn’t an issue. There was no 12-step program. There was simply an encounter with God.
But I think Paul wasn’t simply talking about the obvious things we do that we know we shouldn’t do. This knowledge of right and wrong is what God was trying to protect us from since the time of creation. There were two trees in the Garden of Eden: the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And only one of them was off limits.
My husband and I were introduced to some study material that came out of the Church of the Highlands with pastor Chris Hodges. It’s called the Freedom Study and I highly recommend it. We went through the study as participants and then we were one of the couples asked to lead a group. I think we experienced the Freedom Study three or four times – and I tasted new freedom each time (think of peeling back the layers of an onion)!
The Freedom Study opens the first of the thirteen-week sessions with showing the distinct differentiation between the two trees that God planted in the garden. And it shows you which tree we’re to live from and why.
When Paul was commiserating about his failure to do what he knew what was right to do, he was living from the wrong tree. He was focusing on what he does in his own efforts… in his own knowledge of right and wrong. And we’re not to operate that way. Our focus should never be on our own efforts or deeds. Our focus should always be on Jesus.
As I’ve contemplated this over the last few years, I can see how detrimental living from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil can be. We do something wrong and we start kicking ourselves for our mistakes – the knowledge of evil. We do something good, but then we question what we did… or we start gloating about how much good we did – the knowledge of good. There’s self-condemnation whether we do good or evil!
There are even times that we’re living from the wrong tree simply because we we’re focusing all of our energy on not doing the wrong thing and then falling flat on our face. Like me knowing I was doing the wrong thing by going to the store, trying to convince myself that I could handle the weight of managing substance abuse, and still keeping my eye on the very thing the enemy would have used to kill me. I never reached for my Bible in those instances – I reached for the next drink… or I went to the store to get one.
By focusing on right and wrong, we’re not focusing on the One who came to give us life! Don’t forget: there were two trees in the garden – one of them ushered in death after one taste and the other offered life. Life was never going to be found in the knowledge of good and evil, because life is found in Jesus Christ alone.
You might be shaking your head in a bit of disagreement. You might be struggling with the notion that knowing the good things to do could be bad for us. So, let me ask you: have you ever helped someone and then beat yourself up with the knowledge that you could have done more? Maybe you sent help to some of the flood victims of Hurricane Helene. That’s good. But you know that you could have sent more. And I bet you either dwelled on that missed opportunity or you patted your back for being such a good person.
The enemy can twist and distort the good we do to drag us down in self-condemnation or pride. He will use any and every opportunity to distract us with our guilt or self-gratification. He jumps at the chance because that means we’re not focusing on Jesus.
But doing good is, well, good…. and avoiding doing bad stuff is really good! But anything not based in faith is considered sin (Romans 14:23). That can be pretty heavy if it’s not understood.
A drum I seem to keep beating is that we need to keep our eyes on Jesus. We need to look to Him. We need to focus on Him. If there’s a problem in your marriage, get to know Jesus better. If your finances are struggling, learn more about Jesus. If there’s any area of your life that needs improvement, it’s time to turn your eyes to Jesus.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about focusing on Jesus and used Psalm 91 to show the value of dwelling in Him (Redirected Focus). In Hebrews 4:11, we’re encouraged do everything we can to enter into God’s rest. The Greek word in that verse that we get rest from is katápausis (Strong’s G2663). It means rest, but it also means a calming of the winds, and it means abode.
If I’m going to make God my dwelling place, that means that I’m going to make Him my abode… my home. And in those nights that I can’t seem to fall asleep because of the worry that’s raging in my mind, I want Him to calm the winds and give me peace. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t appreciate rest.
Entering into God’s rest is not without action. I don’t want anyone thinking that I’m trying to tell people to stop doing good things… we’re told that faith without fruit is dead. But what seems to be left out of those sermons is that fruit produced without faith is sin.
The rest we’re being told to enter is Spirit-led activity. It’s acting when the Holy Spirit tells you to. It’s knowing what God is wanting you to do – or not do – because you know Him and your focus is on Him. And you’re following His lead.
Are you racing around trying to do all and be all? Are you manically trying to steer your ship to the safety of the shore because you’re caught in a storm? Are you berating yourself because you blew it… again? If any of that sounds like you, it’s time to move out of that tree. It’s time to make your abode in the branches of the Tree of Life.