Wonder of Words

My kids have a pretty high opinion of themselves. If you were to compliment Gracie (7) on her singing or dancing, she would emphatically agree with your words of praise. Does she take voice or dance lessons? Nope! Do we criticize her when she throws herself around, limbs flailing, without regards to rhythm, or the notes she tries to hit that are far from being in key? Nope! We applaud her performances held in our living room, van, the grocery store, or anywhere she knows she’ll have an audience. Caleb (5) is always being praised in regards to his huge muscles, his super-hero, kung-fu moves, and we’re always going on about how smart he is. The reality is that he more closely resembles little Steve Rogers than Captain America, his kung-fu moves are about the same as Gracie’s flailing, and he would rather mumble than form his words correctly.

That may have sounded as though I was putting my kids down. I actually make it a point to speak blessings over my kids and praise them for all of their creativity; it’s never a dull or quiet moment in our home. Our words can either bring joy or sorrow; be a healing balm or scalding acid; bring about life or death. The Bible has a lot to say in regards to the power of the tongue and the great importance of having control over it. The muscle in our mouth effects our lives in every area and can influence every individual our words reach. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Wrong! No one, and nothing, is immune to the harm (or benefit) a single word can cause.

A Japanese scientist, Masaru Emoto, conducted some pretty intriguing experiments back in the 1990’s, testing his theory about the power of words. One of the experiments, he used written and spoken words and proved that positive words like “Thank you” give life while negative words like “I hate you” bring about death. There’s a similar study that was conducted by Ikea using plants receiving positive or negative words spoken over them – same results. The plant receiving positive words flourished while the one receiving negative words shriveled and died. While the results of these tests fascinate me, they also fill me with caution.

My husband, Ken, and I did some searching this out in the Bible. God has a lot to say in regards to the power of the tongue, being mindful of what we’re thinking, and what we choose to focus on. Proverbs is a great book to find bits and baubles of wisdom. For example, Proverbs 15:4 “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (NIV) We listened to what some trusted pastors had to say on the power of our words and how that power can either build us up or tear us down. There are so many things tied to our words: Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (NIV) That verse isn’t just talking about our physical health.

Say you’re trying to believe God for a financial breakthrough or there’s a relationship that’s on the rocks. Has anyone out there prayed and hoped for positive results but spoken of how it’s not happening? “I’m never going to get a raise in the job I’m in… My husband will never love me the way I need him to…” The Bible talks about this, too. James 1:5-8 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” (NIV)

If we have any hope to tame the tongue (James 3), we need to start with what we’re feeding our mind. “Garbage in; garbage out.” If you’re listening to trash, then you’re going to eventually be talking trash (pun intended). If you surround yourself with people who toss swear words around like confetti, you’re going to start using the same language. The more you hear it, the easier you’ll find it is to speak it.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 (NIV) I encourage you to read some previous blog posts for more background on my transformation (it’s a daily progression). I’m not going to write this out and lead you to believe that I don’t have the words of a sailor still occasionally floating through the waters of my mind, but be encouraged in this: “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” II Timothy 1:7 (NIV) “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) God equipped us, not with fear of failing, but confidence to receive help and self-discipline to conquer the areas we fall short – and mercy mixed with grace because He knows our tendencies to duck our heads in shame.

God is always faithful. A saying that is fairly popular, “God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good” is in my head more often than not. I struggle when I’ve been believing for a breakthrough in some area of my life and it seems to be taking forever to come to pass. But I don’t doubt that God is good – and has my best interest in mind. I don’t believe the common misconception that a breakthrough is contingent on that person’s performance. Many of us, believers and non-believers alike, have a tendency to start looking at all of the ways we “fail” or “fall short.” The silent (or not-so silent) self-condemnation soon follows. “God’s not answering my prayers because I have sin in my life…” Let me stop you right there, cupcake.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1 (NIV) Don’t beat yourself up! As you bash yourself, your words are doing damage. When you start thinking about all of your failings, your focus is no longer on God’s goodness and promises… and your self-condemning thoughts may even start trickling off that mouth muscle.

Sometimes it seems so easy to see and believe the bad over the good. In the movie “Pretty Woman” (not an appropriate movie at all; watched it about 15 years ago), I connected with one of Julia Roberts’ lines: “People put you down enough you start to believe it… The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?” If you’re torn down, how in the heavens do you expect to help build others up? My kids are counting on me whether they know it or not. My husband needs me in his corner and not as his opponent. It’s vital that I know who and what I really am.

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:4-9 (NIV) I know that was a long one, but did you notice that “it is by grace you have been saved” is in there twice? We’re not saved by what we do, but by grace! And what exactly is this “grace” to us? Grace is favor that we could never deserve, regardless of how hard we tried. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” II Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) I am the righteousness of God (through Jesus Christ)!

With the different areas of my life that don’t “measure up” to the standards that are so easily assumed, I can quickly slip into the mindset of unworthiness. I silently bash myself for things that I see in myself – yelling at the kids, the house being a mess, frumpy-mom bod, not to mention the less-than-desirable thoughts that meander through my mind. “Come on, Bru, everyone has those days and some of the same struggles…” Then why do we all degrade ourselves? Because we know that it’s not who we want to be. We want to be worthy…

We find our worth and acceptance through Jesus’ sacrifice. Let’s get our words in line with reality… sometimes that’s saying what our earthly eyes don’t yet see. But here’s the kicker: once our words are working, we’ll start seeing it – that’s faith “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NIV). “I am the righteousness of Christ… I’m worthy… I’m enough…” When we’re built up, we can build up others. We can speak blessings into the lives of our family and those around us. We can watch our words give life.