We’re homeschooling again this year. I must admit that I’ve had a few moments of feeling a bit overwhelmed, unqualified, and in way over my head. A lot of this is because our 5 year old has started this year. Sure, she knows her shapes, ABC’s, and 123’s… she knows her colors and how to write her name… but she’s also our stubborn kiddo. She doesn’t like to listen to anyone talk logically about how she’s trying to answer a question on her school work – she won’t hear it. She’ll get the answer wrong, take 4 out of 5 and be satisfied. With our others, there’s already been a few tears. Math can do that. But there is such a joy in working through the material with them and seeing the light bulb turn on. Frustrations on Tuesday can turn into getting a 100% on a test on Wednesday.
My husband would say that he has a joy that’s similar: he would come up against a problem, pray about it, and watch how God worked it out. This has happened many times in our marriage. From being like-minded in how we budget to how we raise our kiddos and even in regards to unhealthy habits and weaknesses we want to overcome. God. Is. Good.
I saw something on social media a while back about picking someone to pray for, not telling them that you’re praying for them, and just be confident that God is doing something amazing. Well, I had a few people pop into my mind right away. One was a surprise while the others were already being prayed for. Praying has been something that I’ve been doing a lot more of since being pregnant and finally having our baby. All of the restless nights of not being comfortable to the middle-of-the-night feedings, trying to get my mind to settle as I try to go back to sleep at 4 in the morning = the perfect time to pray. Another perfect time to pray is driving. And then watch as God does something that only He can accomplish.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)
With prayer, I’m far from knowing all the ins and outs. Prayer, praying in the Spirit, praying in tongues… all of it reaches the heart of God. What I do know is that a lot of my own selfish desires or human failings can sneak into the words that I say. I think I’m being thoughtful or helpful but the words I speak can easily turn into seeds that shouldn’t be planted in my mind or heart. It would be all too easy to allow my own thoughts to take the reins. As a result, I could form a very negative opinion of someone, insert my own selfish or fanciful desires, and essentially ignore what I know God would rather work out (or something better than I could ever imagine!). It’s not right, it’s not beneficial, and I would rather not spoil the garden of my heart and mind with seeds that can cause damage if left to grow.
As I’ve been praying for these individuals, not really knowing why God wants me to pray for them, I’ve had to catch myself from inserting the selfish seeds into the soil. I couldn’t help but think about the times that my husband and I had prayers answered in our relationship because we left Self at the door. I mentioned that one of those times had to do with our different approaches to budgeting. He wanted to do it his way, I wanted to do it my way, and the bank said, “It’s my way or the highway.”
At the end of the budgeting war, we finally came to an agreement and watched as our finances improved. This change occurred when I started working in a different office (better environment) and making less money coupled with fewer hours. We started seeing money left over at the end of the paychecks. Sure, our budgeting system changed, but what I didn’t tell you is that this also came about when I started seeing God as Provider.
I’ve written posts about God providing. He provided for the Israelites even as they grumbled and complained – He freed them from slavery, fed them when there was no food, caused water to come out of a rock to quench their thirst, leveled enemy cities and armies, and brought them into a rich land to call their own. And did you know, when they were freed from being slaves, none of them were sick or lame (Psalm 105:37) and they were laden with riches from their former slave masters (Exodus 12:36)? Can you imagine how the Israelites – as slaves – were treated? Remember, Moses murdered an Egyptian who had been beating a slave (Exodus 2:11), but none of them were sick or lame – they were healthy. Talk about providing! He even provided their health.
I used to see myself and my husband as our source. Mine or my husband’s work provided a paycheck which provided what we needed at the time. That was my thought process. Sounds intelligent and logical, but God is missing with that mindset. Sure, He was our provider, but was He really viewed as our provider? It took quite some time for me to see God as my Friend, longer to see Him as my Father, a fair amount of time to view Him as my King and Lord, and it wasn’t until around 2017 that I really saw Him as Provider.
I adjusted my mindset and other things started falling into place. Like with the kiddos in their school work, light bulbs started coming on in different areas of my heart and mind. I started to be able to see the different things that had been planted: some were meant to be there while others needed to be pulled up by the roots. I could finally see the connections with the power of our words, the words we use in prayer, and the resulting plants in the garden. I started seeing how the King can be Friend, the Lord can be Father, and they are all my Provider.
A person or job is not my Provider; God holds that title. As I focused on Him, as I went deeper than Sunday morning service, every area of my life improved because I started to see Him at work in them. I started seeing God at work in my employment, in my husband’s employment, in our home, and even in our recreation.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NIV)
According to the riches of God’s glory in Christ Jesus. I cannot even fathom the magnitude of His glorious riches. But that’s what He has for us. He’s our provider! How many ways does He show us provision? I’ve tried to count them and have found that it’s impossible. The two BIG ones that encompass pretty much all of them (like I said, I found it’s impossible to count them): He created us and breathed His life into us (Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:7) and He also provided our redemption (Ephesians 1:7, Galatians 3:13, Isaiah 44:22, Psalm 111:9, I Corinthians 1:30 – and many more).
If you’re having trouble seeing God as Provider in your life, I hope and pray that you’ll start looking a bit more closely – proof that He’s our Provider is everywhere. Maybe it’s a timely financial blessing (all of God is perfectly timed, isn’t it?) or something as simple as an unexpected encouraging word from a friend. Again, His provision is all around us. Start looking to Him as your Provider – not your job, not your family, and not your own efforts. I would love to hear how God has shown that He’s your Provider. Leave a comment (God may use you to provide a testimony for someone else who reads it) or send me an email (ohblessitgrace@gmail.com). I hope you see a provision-filled week (I know it’s there)!