While I was going through the process of memorizing Psalm 91, there was so much that was just… foreign to me. I had heard it, read it and had been taught it all before, but it was a concept that I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around. What is it like to find refuge in God? How does one dwell in the shelter of the Most High? As I’ve rolled this around in my head for the past few months, I came to realize that it speaks of intimacy. It’s an intimacy that I had always assumed was for others who were, you know, more spiritual. Those who were more righteous. They were obviously much more worthy.
There are many nights that I am oh-so tired, but as soon as my head hits the pillow, my brain thinks it’s time to start talking to me. During this time, as I listen to my husband saw logs, I whisper to the darkness Psalm 91 (and now I include what I have memorized of Psalm 103). Sometimes, though, I feel like the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15.
And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He did not answer her with even a word. And His disciples came up and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us!” But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” Yet He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord; but please help, for even the dogs feed on the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed at once. Matthew 15:22-28 NASB
I always hated this passage because it’s referring to non-Jews. We’re the dogs, and Jesus – at first – flat out ignored her! She basically responded that she knew she was a dog, that she knew and accepted that she had no seat at His table, but even the dogs clean up the crumbs that drop to the ground. With Psalm 91, there’s so many references to God being our shelter, our hiding place, our refuge, our rest, our fortress, our dwelling place, and ends with Him being our salvation. That’s more than crumbs off the floor or even a seat at the table – it’s like having your own wing in a palace!
Psalm 91:3 makes a bold claim of stating that He’s MY refuge and MY fortress, MY God in whom I trust. It doesn’t say that He’s only those things for the Jew. He’s mine. This is a picture of His faithfulness, not mine, and even goes further. He’s not just going to shelter and protect us from trouble when it comes near, but He’s going to deliver us from trouble when we’re in it. As a side note, it doesn’t say that it’s trouble that just happens upon us – this could even be trouble of our own making. You might be reading this and feel a conviction about something you’ve said or done that you know you probably shouldn’t have said or done (that’s me, right here) – He’s still right there with you, even in your mess! Of course He wants better for you, but He promised to be with us always (Matthew 28:20).
Psalm 91 makes me think of a huge vacation resort, picture a big ski lodge, and I’m huddled right outside the door because that’s as close as I’m convinced that I can get. I’m not getting rained or snowed on as long as the wind isn’t blowing just so, but I’m longing for a big comforter that I can snuggle into in front of a warm fire. Interestingly enough, I’m probably not the only person who has felt like this. Just take a look at Rahab. She was the prostitute that hid the spies in Jericho (Joshua 2). I’ve written a bit about her before, and I think it’s worth a read if you missed it – Something Had to Die. She had something in common with the woman in Matthew 15 – Rahab was a Canaanite.
Joshua 6:22-23 shows us that the spies kept their promise to Rahab and she and all in her home were spared and were placed outside the camp of Israel. I might venture to guess that they didn’t feel as though they could walk through the door of the palace and cozy up by the fire while helping themselves to a big, warm comforter. Or is it just me? Rahab and her family probably had concerns about how they were going to survive. There’s no record of them having livestock, fields to harvest, or a well-stocked pantry. They were like dogs hoping to eat the crumbs from the Master’s table.
Rahab’s story is a beautiful example of God’s grace, mercy, and faithfulness. It’s not about the faithfulness of her or the spies – it’s never about what we’ve done or accomplished, rather it’s always about what God’s done and accomplished for us and through us for His glory. Psalm 91 could have been written with Rahab in mind – especially the last three verses:
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16 NIV
We’ve read about His faithfulness in regard to both of these Canaanite women. Both were in need of a Savior, and both placed their trust in the God of Israel (Strong’s Hebrew 3068/3069 and Strong’s Greek 2962).
I struggle with the intimacy with God because I seem to have an issue with identity. I was raised in the church, but I always felt like an imposter. We were better than the heathens who were working or shopping on Sunday, but we were sinners who needed to make sure to confess every sin or we were in danger of damnation. We were more like an elitest club. If you didn’t dress the part, you couldn’t come in. Well, you could the first time, but once you knew of the expectations, you better fall in line and look the part – it was always about outward appearances. I never felt welcome at the table. I never felt as though I would ever be able to have anything other than crumbs. There’s no boldness or confidence in that mindset. But God knew we would need reassurance.
In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets. This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 3:4-6 NIV
Both of the Canaanite women acted in boldness and called upon God when they were in trouble, He answered them, He was with them, delivered them, and honored them. We have a better covenant than they had because we’re adopted in – based on His faithfulness – we’re clothed in righteousness and given a seat at the table. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation. This last verse speaks of a whole, victorious life to all who will place their faith in Him.
I was made right with God the moment I accepted Him / placed my trust in Him / believed in Him (there are so many Christianese ways of saying that He’s my God in whom I trust). I’ve been marked with a seal (Ephesians 1:13-14), like a stamp on the back of my hand that shows I have the right as an heir to enter the lodge, have a comforter provided and a seat saved in the warmth of His presence. There are no titles or positions that hold any meaning or influence as to how much He loves us and wants intimacy with us. Whether a pastor at a mega church or the thief that hung on the cross next to Jesus, He wants relationship, intimacy, with you.
He made us worthy to sit at the table, to stay in the lodge with every amenity imaginable. He clothed us in His righteousness and has given us unlimited access to His presence. If you were to read Joshua 6:25, we’re told that Rahab’s household has lived in the midst of the Israelites since the time she was spared – all because of God’s faithfulness. Will you walk through the doors of the lodge? Accept the welcome at the table where a place has been reserved for you? Will you walk in your worth?