It’s Christmas time! There’s so much hope in the air it’s almost tangible, but I can’t help but have an awareness that there’s also so much grief and sorrow. This can be such a difficult time for so many. Families have lost loved ones, sickness and disease are both on the rise, the economy hasn’t been that great, inflation is a reality, and there are a higher number of people who can’t seem to keep up with it all. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical pain are all hitting pretty hard. It can definitely be a tough time of year.
Without factoring in grieving the loss of loved ones, it’s pretty easy to get lost in the stuff of the holidays, isn’t it? Our schedule tends to pull us in more than a dozen directions, we’re shopping more than our budget is used to, and we eat more than our stomach is prepared for. It’s a recipe for disaster! But we deal with it by planning for after the holidays. After the holidays, things will slow down… after the holidays, we’ll shore up the holes in our budget… after the holidays, we’ll return to healthier eating. After the holidays, the loss won’t hurt so much.
I’d like to call that future-focused… but a bit ridiculous, right? While I believe wholeheartedly in setting goals (future-focused), this is a different kind of mindset with the goal of trying to excuse bad behavior or keep us trapped in denial. Do you see the folly in it? By the way, most everyone does it. We end up focusing on everything that we’re not needing to focus on and neglecting what we really need to focus on.
I try to keep Christmas pretty simple, but I still feel the pressure at times. My focus tends to get pulled in multiple directions and I end up feeling a bit stressed as a result. I get short on patience and my left eye twitches at the most inopportune times (seriously, it’s only my left eye and it usually happens in the middle of a conversation – so embarrassing). The only time during this season that I feel centered and grounded is when I make a deliberate effort to shift my focus. And this effort can be difficult to muster up.
During the regular time of the year (is there really such a thing?) when things are a little more evenly paced, it already seems difficult to make time to spend in the Word, talking with God, and receiving from Him. Then we throw in the season of chaos – I mean Christmas – and the reason for the season tends to no longer be the focus.
This is something I’ve noticed about myself now and then – the ease of slipping into distraction. The loss of focus. I’ll be in the middle of reading and find that I’m thinking of what I need to pick up from the grocery store to make something that will pair well with the chicken I suddenly decided to make for dinner. Then I spend time silently berating myself for being so easily distracted and have to reread what I had already spent time reading! Anyone else?
When I get distracted and then give myself a stern talking to for it, I can get a bit irritated with myself and my eye starts twitching. But then I feel a little bit of comfort in knowing that God is in the details of everything. I’m not able to be in all the details (I still try), but the details matter to God. The entire Christmas story is evidence of that.
I went into a tailspin of a healing journey back at the end of July. Leading up to that point, God had been laying the groundwork, leading me to exactly what I needed to go through the entire process. I had no idea that I would experience such sorrow and such relief wading through one experience of my past. But I had to let God heal it. He showed that He was in the details of what we see as chaos, and I’m too important to Him to be left broken.
After getting past the sheer unpleasantness of the process so far, I have been making a focused effort on filling the holes with God and His goodness. I’m obviously not perfect at it – getting distracted by meal planning and all – but I have been utilizing a few tools to help me. These tools, little things that have helped me redirect in the moment, are not strictly for the holiday season.
I want it to be understood that this is about getting distracted by hurts, grief, and what pushes us toward a victim mentality. It’s so easy, especially at this time of year, to get lost in the funk of darkness and find it difficult to get back into the light. This is how I keep myself from getting distracted from the hurts, the sorrow, the past, and the sheer volume of stuff that comes with every single day of the year.
I discovered, during praise and worship at church, while my mind was trying to race in all different directions, that I was not looking at or seeing God. I felt like a fraud. I was singing, but my thoughts weren’t on my Savior. I was too focused on something like a side dish. Or I was distracted by past feelings of inadequacy, fearing rejection, or acknowledging irretrievable loss. But knowing God is in the details, knowing that He isn’t and wasn’t the author of my sorrow, I chose not to get lost, but instead I chose to redirect. I wanted to connect with God. I wanted to encounter Him. And I bet you do, too.
I stood there during praise and worship at church and started searching for what I needed from God in that moment. It may sound weird and to some it might sound almost wrong. It’s not wrong to want something from God – what are most of our prayers comprised of? We’re told to ask God for anything we lack, and He will give generously for His will to be done (I John 5:14-15). He’s not out to make people wealthy just to make them wealthy, but rather to supply them with what they need to make kingdom impacts.
He redeemed my life – and yours – to make kingdom impacts.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 NKJV
In an effort to be a bit transparent, most of the time that I start asking God for what I need, I picture myself as a small child being held by Him. Nothing extravagant, just held in an embrace. It’s a picture of acceptance and love. A part of me that I feel lack in is getting filled in a way that only He can fill it. In those moments, I can only raise my hands in worship.
At that point, there’s no distractions. There’s just His presence. There’s just the knowledge that He’s holding me while being completely worthy of all adoration. Everything slows down – even at Christmas time. Are you looking for a break from the distractions? For a deeper connection with God? You don’t have to add it to your list of after the holidays… start doing it now, in this moment. Imagine being in His presence, and everything else will fade away.