Life… It’s not unchanging or smooth-sailing and trouble-free, is it? We do stupid stuff. Other people do stupid stuff that affects us. We live in a fallen world. But there also has to be change if we’re to grow. A breaking. In order for seeds to grow, they have to break open. We can’t expect a crop if we never plant the seeds. We can’t expect a harvest season if we never went through the growing season. We are definitely going to experience ups and downs, highs and lows, triumphs and trials. I’ve said it, but this truth is worth saying again and again: God does not give us bad things. If God is good, how can He give anything other than good?
My husband and I were talking recently about how the waters of grace and God’s goodness and love are so deep that we’ll never be able to fully chart them. We may think we’ve experienced all that He has to give, but the reality is that there is no end. The depths of His love, goodness, and mercy go beyond any form of measurement system we can come up with. When I try to express that God is that good, I can’t even sufficiently define just how good He is. That’s how good He is! That’s what I’ve come to learn, but that’s not always what I believed to be true.
I remember thinking, as a teenager, that no matter what I did, I would always fall short. I wasn’t good enough even after asking Jesus into my heart. I asked Him to forgive my sins, but there was always another sin or a sin I’d forgotten about that loomed over me. I was a Christian, but I was far from being victorious because I kept hearing that I wasn’t worthy. How could I walk in victory when I constantly thought myself to be a loser? What was the point? I wasn’t good enough even when I tried. I didn’t always make the right choices, the stupid choices made by people around me impacted me, and when those collided, I was even more defiled than ever before.
There was no security. Everything still hinged on me. Did I confess all of my sins? If I forgot even one, then I would be judged and condemned. I was a failure, I didn’t measure up, and there was no hope. But that Christianity, that religion, was not grace-filled but works-filled. That’s not the good news. I have 5 kiddos and none of them doubt that they belong in our family. None of them worry that if they do something bad that they’ll be told that they don’t belong. They are confident in their relationship with me – and I fail all the time! I lose my patience, I have been known to use a tone at times, and I don’t always share. But God is perfect and He’s our Dad.
It’s ridiculous to think we’re supposed to come to God – and stay secure in Him – when and if we have our mess managed. The whole reason we come to God is because only He can manage our mess! And it’s ridiculous to think that once we come to God, we’re somehow capable of taking the reins back at any point. Another thing that terrified me as a kiddo and teenager was being considered lukewarm. Again, what security was there? If my zeal waned, I would be spit out, so I better be on fire for God every moment of every day – something no one can do perfectly.
People – it’s either on my own merit or on the merit of Jesus. It’s either Jesus that I point to as my source of righteousness, or I’m doomed. Why do so many pastors teach grace that’s conditional? It’s either all grace or it’s works. You can’t mix the two. I once heard a pastor state that there are over a thousand sins listed in the New Testament that even grace didn’t cover. Later, when my husband asked about that bold statement, the pastor admitted that he believed in grace, but that he couldn’t teach it because people would just go out and live in sin. Last time I checked, there was only one Holy Spirit and He does His job better than we ever could.
Now before anyone jumps down my throat about living in sin, I’m not telling anyone that they should go out and sin as much as they want. It’s not to your benefit to go out and sin (I Corinthians 10:23). Sin is bad for you and brings with it terrible things. Sins carry with them consequences that many have to face in this lifetime. Often, we deal with the sin effects that were brought on by other people. Sinning is nothing but trouble! As far as sins and salvation, our sins – all of them for everyone for all time – were dealt with at the cross (I John 2:2, Hebrews 9:11-12). He has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
The church, as a whole, is under attack. Too many times we’ve compromised the Word to fit our worldly lifestyle. But it’s the world that should see the Word in our lifestyle. How else are they going to see God? There should be fruit – good fruit – that comes from our faith. Faith is wonderful, but if the world doesn’t see it in action, they miss seeing God – and that means you’re also missing out on one of the greatest relationships of all time (James 2:14-17).
As children of the King, our actions should reflect Him and His love for His children – even the ones we may not particularly enjoy. But the fruit of our faith is not something that we can produce without a relationship with God. There has to be a type of breaking. Sure, ask Jesus into your heart, but I pray the joy of your salvation spurs you on to get to know Him on a deeper level – a below-the surface level where seeds sprout. Any relationship worth having requires time and attention. You can’t expect fruit to come from anything that isn’t getting what it needs.
I’m simply a person who is far from perfect and who finds herself in awe of how much her Father loves her. I struggled with my worth until I came to a point of breaking. That breaking came when I saw the good news for what it actually is:
But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” Through Christ Jesus, God has blessed the Gentiles with the same blessing he promised to Abraham, so that we who are believers might receive the promised Holy Spirit through faith. Galatians 3:13-14 NLT
He paid for my freedom because I could never pay it myself. He lived perfectly because it’s an impossibility for me to do so. He provided everything I need for my eternal salvation and for being able to walk in victory in this life.
Bless the Lord, my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, my soul, and do not forget any of His benefits; who pardons all your guilt, who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with favor and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. The Lord performs righteous deeds and judgments for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His deeds to the sons of Israel. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy. He will not always contend with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our guilty deeds. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our wrongdoings from us. Psalm 103:1-12 NASB
Have you walked away from your faith because you thought yourself to be too messy? He pardoned all of your mess – past, present, and future – when Jesus died on the cross over 2,000 years ago. He doesn’t deal with us according to what we deserve in our own efforts, but instead He looks at us and sees the righteousness of Jesus (II Corinthians 5:21). Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross satisfied the wrath of God (Romans 5:6-11). There’s nothing we can add to it to make it better. We can’t do anything to make ourselves more saved. Anything we try to offer outside of faith is equivalent to menstrual rags (eew, gross – but it’s scripturally true – Isaiah 64:6). And anything we do (think of giving to the poor, helping widows and orphans, and even giving your tithe to the church), if it’s not done in faith then it’s sin (I Corinthians 10:31, Romans 14:23).
It’s high time we break – break away from religion and sprout up into relationship. Jesus died so that we could be with Him in relationship, not so we could act like His sacrifice wasn’t enough.