Had I been asked just 20 years ago if I wanted to deepen my relationship with God, I probably would have said, um, no. This is largely because I thought I knew who God was. I was so very wrong. I grew up with the belief that God’s will won out no matter what we prayed. I believed that God might bless me with a debilitating disease or take someone I loved in death way too early based on His will. Don’t get me wrong – I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age, but as I entered into high school, I found that I was so very lost.
Some of what I believed was taught, some of it was caught, and as a child I never felt the freedom to ask questions regarding the suspect catches. To be clear, not asking questions was mostly because of my timidness and the result of my brother’s inquiries. When he asked questions, he tended to do it with a disrespectful tone and a chip on his shoulder. I never wanted the consequences that came with being rude towards a parent – especially when raised by parents in the south. Since I didn’t know how to ask and was afraid of asking, I just didn’t ask.
I grew up never using my faith for much of anything. Why would I when it didn’t matter what I prayed – God would do what His will was regardless of what I prayed. Why pray for healing when it might be God’s will to let that person stay sick or broken? What if God is needing another angel so He chooses to not heal someone… and they die? What sense does it make to pray against what might be God’s will? Why exercise our faith if it makes no difference?
This approach to God, an approach that many people take, is a way to excuse weaknesses and portrays God as being shrouded in a cloak of mystery that incites fear instead of love. With this belief, I was left confused, exhausted and weighed down with feelings of inadequacy and helplessness. This is also the approach that causes people to believe that God authors evil to teach us His ways and His will. You’ll never experience peace if you think God might strike you down based on a will that He won’t clue you in on.
I grew up believing that it was sometimes God’s will that people die young, that families choose divorce, and that children are abused. But why stop there? That’s just the norm for the good churchgoers, isn’t it? What about the innocents – the babies that are aborted or miscarried? The children who are trafficked throughout the world for unspeakable acts to be done to them – is it God’s will? If it’s God’s will for one type of evil, it must be for all of them.
Why would we ever have faith to believe God to be our shield, our protector, our provider, our strength, or our comforter? These are not the qualities that come to mind when thinking of a God who authors evil. What does that leave us to believe about our salvation?
In order to have the freedom to trust and approach God, we have to start with a clear understanding of His true nature and character.
So many have heard that we can never really know God’s will, and that His will is beyond our comprehension. Perhaps it’s a connotation gap. His will – what God wants to have happen – is for all to be saved… for all to turn away from evil (II Peter 3:9, I Timothy 2:1-4). We know that not everyone will choose to repent, but this is God’s will. His will is for good and not for evil – for all mankind, not just His children. That’s a good, good God!
“Just as I swore in the time of Noah that I would never again let a flood cover the earth, so now I swear that I will never again be angry and punish you. For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you. Isaiah 54:9-10 NLT
What God wills and how He works things for our good are two very different things. He can – and does – take the terrible things that we experience and weave it into something beautiful. We will never know the big picture this side of heaven, but we need to be able to trust that He is, in fact, working everything out for our good (Romans 8:26-28). He doesn’t author the evil. That must be understood if we’re to trust God for anything.
The idea of trusting God was an absurd notion for me when I was in my late teens. I had experienced the heartache of my family splitting apart as well as a violation of my innocence. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I started reflecting on a long-ago planted seed. This seed originally hit the soil years before when a dear friend spoke at his father’s funeral. His father’s death was a tragic accident that came with no warning and left no opportunity for good-byes. But what my friend said at the memorial service stayed with me. He told everyone in attendance that he didn’t blame God for his father’s death.
What my friend said did not fit with anything I believed about God. My friend’s faith and the way he responded to the evil that took his father’s life is what planted the seed that helped me see that a relationship with God might be worth the effort.
No one in this world is immune to the schemes of the enemy. As long as there is free will to choose God, there is also free will to not. That is why there is pain in this life. It was never God’s will for mankind to choose to not trust Him, but it was and always is God’s will to offer a plan for our redemption – at His expense whether we accept Him or not.
Isaiah 54 continues on to tell us that if anyone attacks us – if anything bad happens to us – that it is not God causing it (v 15). It is not God’s will for children to be exploited or abused, for parents to die from cancer, or for rape or murder. Sickness and disease are not His will. Hunger and poverty are not His will. Pain and suffering are not His will for His children. Evil is not His will.
If we think God will strike us with injury or disease, kill our children, or anything that does not reflect the glorious riches of Heaven (Philippians 4:19), then we will never feel safe having God in our life. Deepen a relationship with Him? Um, not the God I heard about as a child… but I crave more and more of the One who has revealed Himself through His Word.
God’s love for us was revealed in Jesus, and nothing can separate us from it. We’re going to face troubles in this world, but God has overcome it and all the troubles in it (John 16:33). When we encounter the evils of this world, we need to firmly stand on the truth that says He is for us and not against us (Romans 8:31, Psalm 118:6), that He came to give us an abundant and full life (John 10:10), that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), and that He will strengthen us and lay waste to our enemies (Isaiah 41:10-13).
Have you known God to be your Shield (Psalm 3:3), Protector (Psalm 121:5), Provider (Psalm 81:10), your Strength (Psalm 37:39), and your Comforter (Psalm 147:3)? Do you know Him as your Savior? If you encounter anything in this life that gives you pause and you wonder if it’s from God, check if it lines up with scripture:
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NASB
Once we believe and trust that God is for us, we will begin to accept our true identity as children of God. Check in next week as we take a look at our identity in Christ as we continue our journey on the way to true freedom.