I’m writing today from a place of guilt, but not shame. No, I’m far from shame. The guilt I carry isn’t from stepping out of line or not (inaction can be just as wrong as action). The guilt I carry is that I’m so profoundly convinced that God’s grace is greater than we can even fathom that I can read something that contradicts that very grace and not be swayed in the slightest. I can read that someone believes that Jesus is not God – with a scripture verse or two that they base this on – and still stand firm in my faith that Jesus is the Son of God (Matthew 3:17, Matthew 16:16-17), that He and the Father are one – Jesus is God (John 1:1-5, John 10:30, Philippians 2:6-11), and that He paid the debt I owed but could never pay (Hebrews 10:10, I John 2:2). Life is only found in God’s boundless grace.
I’m guilty yet unashamed. I can’t help but read through, story after story, in both the Old and New Testaments, and see God’s grace in the details. God’s heart for His kiddos is visible from cover to cover and walked among us in the body of Jesus. He’s in every story of the Old Testament and He fulfilled hundreds of prophecies while He walked this earth as a man. Do you see Him when you read in the Old Testament?
Take the fall of mankind (Genesis 3). Yes, let’s go all the way back to the garden. Adam and Eve are remembered as the first two humans and the people who dropped the proverbial ball. God created them, said that His work was good, and then we read about how they messed up. What about the thickness of relationship they had with their Creator? Adam and Eve weren’t worried about measuring up, doing everything right, or working their thumbs off to be accepted (Get it? They tended a garden – they had green thumbs). They simply were. They walked and talked with God! They stood in their nakedness without shame!
We see the beauty of creation – the order and magnitude. We see the love and care of creating the first man and woman – and it was good. Adam and Eve were accepted, they belonged, and they had fellowship with God. They knew nothing but peace in the garden and acceptance in His presence.
Then we see the tragedy of the fall. We see the deception from the enemy – you’re not good enough… God is holding back from you… you could have more… you could be more… Trust was fractured before Eve took a bite because she doubted God’s goodness toward her. She acted on the doubts by taking that infamous bite. The tragedy isn’t simply in the act of disobedience, but in the trust that was broken.
And how did God respond? Did He start shooting lightning bolts? Did He start searching the garden with His belt in hand? He knew what they had done – His anger was certainly boiling against them – white, hot rage pulsing through His holy being. They had flippantly traded their peace for fear, intimacy for distance, and assurance for uncertainty. They were about to pay… big time.
But God’s posture towards them had not changed – it was theirs. They messed up, but He wasn’t the one to turn away from them. They were the ones to withdraw, to hide, to cover themselves. They felt exposed and exposure often feels unsettlingly unsafe. The peace they once basked in seemed to be gone and they were at a loss as to how to get it back.
Keep God at a distance? Sew some fig leaves together? Nothing was working and God was calling for them. But it wasn’t a call to come stand for judgment. It wasn’t a summons for punishment to be dealt out.
It was an invitation. They broke trust, doubted God’s goodness, tried to hide from Him, but when He called, there wasn’t condemnation. It was a call to restore relationship.
As I’ve read through the story of creation and the fall, I’ve always walked away with something new. This time through, I noticed that instead of asking God to help them, they offered excuses for their poor choice. They could have repented, but they didn’t – they pointed fingers. They didn’t even apologize! And God still did not smite them.
Instead of leaving them to deal with the consequences of their actions, He clothes them. He covers them. He doesn’t abandon them. He doesn’t tell them that they have to make it right before they can talk with Him… He pursues them in the garden and takes it upon Himself to repair what they could not.
They failed, yet He still came close. They didn’t even take ownership, yet He covered their nakedness. God’s posture has been about pursuing His kiddos no matter why they’re hiding or where.
God didn’t cover them from a distance – He sought them out and came close. He didn’t wait for them to apologize or repent – He provided the coverings without waiting for a request.
Reading from the Old Testament, many people state that they see an angry God and can’t seem to reconcile Him to who Jesus claimed to be when He showed up in the New Testament. Remember the notion of God smiting those who step out of line? That’s what I used to see. But since learning more about God’s grace, I have to admit that I’m guilty of seeing God’s grace and goodness on every page – cover to cover. All I see is grace! As I’ve been chewing on the story of Adam and Eve – how God pursued them in the garden – I thought of the parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:3-7).
Jesus is talking with those considered to be the lowest dredges of society (sinners and tax collectors) while in the presence of those who were considered holy (the Pharisees and teachers of the Law) and tells a story about a shepherd who has 100 sheep. One gets lost and is missing. I have to do a head count with four kiddos – it’s impressive that the shepherd is so attentive to notice when one is not accounted for out of a hundred.
The shepherd goes in pursuit of the lost sheep. He has no idea how far away the sheep has gone… uncertain of which direction the sheep went… and not even sure if the sheep is in one piece. But he goes in search of his lost sheep.
Did you know that sheep are not very smart? They poop and pee where they eat and sleep, they get muddy, and they attract flies. They’re filthy! It’s interesting, then, that the shepherd, when he finds the sheep, he doesn’t clean the animal before lifting it to be carried across his shoulders. The filthiest, smelliest part of the animal is right there by the shepherd’s face!
The shepherd didn’t punish the sheep for wandering off. He didn’t make the sheep walk back to the safety of the flock. After covering the distance and finding his lost sheep, he lifted the animal to his shoulders – carrying the weight of the offender and the offense. And what did the sheep do? The sheep didn’t grovel; he didn’t clean himself up and didn’t fight to get down from the shepherd’s shoulders. The sheep, in all its filthiness, allowed the shepherd to carry him home.
What does Jesus say the shepherd did? He rejoiced. He wasn’t disgusted, he wasn’t shocked, and he didn’t hesitate. He sought his lost sheep out, lifted and carried his sheep home, and rejoiced. And then he shared his joy with all who would listen like a parent bragging about how great their kiddo is. He’s home! He’s safe! He’s my kiddo! I’m so glad he’s back – come rejoice with me!
God didn’t wait for Adam and Eve to come back to Him – He sought them out. God didn’t wait for them to apologize or sew their garments together just right – He provided covering for them anyway. They got lost, but God pursued. They were unclean, but God carried them anyway.
I’m absolutely guilty of not being swayed. Jesus, my Shepherd, pursued me when I was lost. He sought me out, called me by my name, and He didn’t wait for me to get my act together before picking me up and carrying me.
He didn’t save me from a distance, and He didn’t require that I clean myself up. He carried the weight I could never carry. The filthiness of my mess that I could not clean was absorbed by His life when He carried it to the cross. And He rejoiced.
When you recognize how much you’re loved, the distance that the Shepherd went for you, you won’t be able to be swayed either.