Over the years of writing on this blog, I’ve mentioned several times my love of praise and worship music. There aren’t enough words – there aren’t sufficient words – to describe the beauty I find in the immersion of love set to music. Some might warn against emotionalism in worship, but we shouldn’t forget to warn against the other end of the spectrum: no evidence of emotions and everyone singing in robotic fashion without a thought to what words are being sung and to Who we’re singing for. Our walk with God, our praise and worship; our relationships are not meant to be a constant elated high, but there should be room for those vulnerable moments. Those moments when everyone else fades into the shadows and you’re alone with your Father, freely lifting your arms for Him to pick you up in an embrace. What an absolute blessing! What a shift from the everydayness of all our other moments.
I’ve been experiencing what I can only call a “shift.” We’ve been surprised with updates regarding our grandson, the path to reaching a set goal is proving to be riddled with potholes, and it seems that the devil is trying to discourage us at every turn… at least that’s been our experience lately. Between looking to buy a home in a seller’s market all the way to a 4yo with a twisted ankle (no, it wasn’t the result of her inflicting a rear-naked choke-hold on her brother), it seems as though we’ve been praying through a storm of uncertainty. Then I noticed a shift…
Have you ever driven a manual? AKA a stick… AKA a stick-shift? I remember my grandfather driving what would be my first car. I was in the passenger seat and he kept telling me, “Look at my feet… are you watching my feet, Alisha? See what I’m doing? Do you feel the difference in the engine?” When it was finally time for me to start learning the rhythm, I remembered the motions, but failed to remember the feel. I did the typical sputtering in the empty parking lot, trying to not kill the engine in first gear, and on edge with my dad in the passenger seat. Once I was alone in the car, the quiet accentuating the sound of the RPMs, I was able to focus, feel, and eventually shift gears.
My post last week focused on gratitude and how being grateful can radically change your attitude. From scarring our 7yo by showing him pictures of starving children and kiddos drinking from muddy watering holes, to my own grumpy attitude being a result of “unsuccessful” house-hunting, attitudes are constantly shifting (regardless of gender). Feel free to check out that post for added encouragement: No Good, Very Bad Day. This week, I wanted to share some of my favorite songs (the status of “favorite” changes regularly). There’s something about worship that assists with the shift.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13 (NIV)
I Corinthians 13 is not known for praise and worship, but better known as the love chapter. Even the secular world will often quote the “love is patient, love is kind…” portions found in verses 4-8. While I loved what little I understood of those verses as a kiddo, my cynical side often scoffed at the higher-than-possible expectations of true love. It wasn’t until a little later that I understood what this chapter is explaining: if we don’t have love – if we don’t have God, nothing we say or do matters. Are you surprised that I find this pointing back to grace? It doesn’t matter how many good things we do, how many sacrifices we make, how many Sundays we’re in church. If we haven’t accepted Jesus, we’re doing all those things in vain. We’re saved by grace through faith – and we’re kept by grace through faith, too.
As a child, I thought like a child, reasoned like a child, and I know I talked like a child, too. I look at my kiddos and notice some of the selfish qualities that are present in many others (at similar ages – at one point or another). Whether it be grabbing for the biggest piece of chocolate cake with the most frosting (sad to say, I’m still sometimes guilty of that one), getting upset when they don’t get their way, bickering and fighting over a toy, or acting as though the world is going to end because they have no one to play with.
As I mentioned before, we’ve recently experienced some potholes, news that wasn’t what we were expecting or wanting, and the devil’s pathetic attempts at trying to pull us down. The shift though is that I noticed how I’ve reacted to recent events on our home front, in our family, and our future planning. Most of the time I have to turn my praise and worship music on when I feel myself getting upset at “not getting my way” or when someone else is getting the bigger “piece of cake.” Or the times, lately, where I’m not even sure there is a cake. Instead of having to focus on the motions of my feet on the pedals, the position of the gear-shift, and hearing the sound of the engine all at the same time in order to make the car go, it’s been a bit of a smoother ride.
While we were in Ohio visiting family, there were a few times the vehicles shifted to accommodate the schedule of the day and who was going where. I was thrilled and slightly intimidated to be driving my brother-in-law’s/sister-in-law’s car. Thrilled because it’s a manual… and intimidated because it’s a manual and not my car. I was just hoping that I wouldn’t embarrass myself and stall out in first gear. I also didn’t want to grind any gears down with the unfamiliarity with the rhythm of the engine. I’m happy to report that there were no gears ground and I never stalled out or even stuttered. There was something so freeing in knowing that I was able to drive the car, my confidence was boosted in having the knowledge and the trust of my family to drive the car, and it kind of made me want to trade in the family van (I did snap back to reality with that one though).
If I had not had the years of practice driving a stick-shift, several different makes and models, I probably would have had a bit of a rookie start with my drive in Ohio. Same with the blows that keep coming. Most days I don’t even think about the ways things are not going my way. I can’t help but think about how God has everything in hand and has His best in store for us. He doesn’t want us in just any old house – He has one set aside for us that will not only bless us, but we’ll be able to bless others through it. He knows what is needed for us before we even know the need is there. Because I’ve been able to see the evidence of His goodness in my life, the big and miniscule ways He’s worked on my behalf, I don’t have to wonder if He’s going to do it again.
I’m able to hear the engine’s purr, push the correct peddle at the right moment, and shift the gears without looking at which gear I’m shifting out of and in to. I’m not claiming absolute maturity in my journey with God, but I experience so much more than the emotionalism of worship – I’m not stuttering in the parking lot trying to go from first to second gear. I’m able to experience more than just a part. While I’m not seeing the whole (that will come in Heaven), I’m seeing more and more that God is someone I can absolutely trust to pick me up in an embrace. Look at your life. Notice Him. See how He keeps getting better and better – and thank Him.