I don’t know about anyone else, but I often struggle with feeling unseen. Now, please don’t get me wrong here – I have zero desire for a platform, stage, or spotlight. Even in our small group Bible studies, whenever I spoke up, I was shaking inside. What I’m referring to is how nice it is to have someone acknowledge that they see you and what you’ve accomplished.
Most women appreciate when people notice a new haircut, am I right? And I know that most people appreciate getting that pat on the back when they’ve submitted a report or project that they put a lot of effort into. The acknowledgement, even if it’s a you-tried-your-best type of acknowledgement, helps to encourage us to keep trying new things, to keep putting in the solid effort, and offers us a validation of sorts.
I know that it’s not advisable to chase after the approval of people, and I know that we’re not supposed to compare ourselves with others. None of it is beneficial because we’ll always feel as though we’re lacking. But we do it. As an author and blogger, I catch myself comparing my content with others. As a mother, I compare my parenting style and kiddos with other families. As a daughter of the Most High King, I compare myself to my sisters in Christ and often feel as though I’m lacking.
I was reading about Hannah the other day, not on purpose – just where I was at in my reading – and couldn’t help but wonder if she was caught up in the feeling of insecurity. Did she feel lacking when she looked at her neighbors who had a dozen or more kiddos? Did she feel as though she were less than because she didn’t have any children? Did she feel unseen?
I Samuel 1-2:21 is where we find the story of Hannah. I have to admit that it would be a bit tough to have a name that means favor and grace and not feel that you’re favored or have received grace. Just reading through the first seven verses, we discover that she was one of two wives, and the other wife of her husband would rub it in that she had children and Hannah had none. Oh yeah – she didn’t even have to look at her neighbors! Year after year after year the other wife would belittle her and point out how she was less than. It would be pretty tough to be in Hannah’s shoes and not feel forgotten.
She finally reaches the end of herself, and she goes to the temple of the Lord to pray. She allows the tears to fall without restraint, her prayer comes from her heart, and she pours out her very soul (I Samuel 1:10-15). She’s so distraught that the priest – Eli – takes her for a drunk! Now I want you to catch this extra tidbit: Eli is a respected priest, and Hannah is pouring out her hurt, insecurities, and begging God for favor in becoming a mother. She has been made to feel worthless by her husband’s other wife – but she requests that Eli not consider her worthless, too (I Samuel 1:16).
As a high priest and judge over Israel, Eli – God’s representative – his opinion mattered to her. If you think about it, I don’t really care if my neighbor likes my new haircut – his opinion doesn’t matter to me, but I want my husband to like it. She recognized his authority and position as a high priest. When we set our focus in the right direction, it’s hard for the enemy to trip us up, isn’t it? When we focus on God, it’s hard to get wrapped up in fleeting feelings.
That was just a bonus – now back to Hannah. While fighting against these feelings of unworthiness, these feelings of not being good enough… not being seen… it really stood out to me that scripture states that God remembered her (I Samuel 1:19). Does that validate all these feelings of being forgotten that so many of us struggle with? We’re going through the fire, crying out for God to help us, and now it’s a possibility that He’s forgotten us?
Not a chance. All too often, we attribute to God our own human failings. I can be pretty forgetful. I’m so forgetful that instead of promising someone that I’ll pray for them, I stop what I’m doing and pray for them – right away! It’s a really good thing that my kiddos are so loud and opinionated, or I would probably forget them on a regular basis. But God doesn’t forget us (Isaiah 49:15-16).
In every account of the Bible where it states that God remembered someone or a group of people or a covenant that He made, it was followed by an action. God remembered Noah and the flood came to an end (Genesis 8:1). God remembered Abraham and rescued Lot from destruction (Genesis 19:29). He remembered Sarah and she conceived a child (Genesis 21:1). God remembered Rachel and opened her womb (Genesis 30:22). God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and delivered the Israelites out of Egypt (Exodus 2:24).
He remembered Hannah and she conceived (Isaiah 1:19-20).
One of my least favorite stories of the Bible holds something that I find to be so very profound. When Abraham and Sarah are being impatient with waiting on God’s perfect timing, they try to make things happen their own way. Not a great moment for them. Remember the story? Sarah insists that Abraham sleep with her servant, Hagar, and he decides to listen to her and go along with such a bad plan of action (Genesis 16). She was a servant who did what she was told to do, and she was treated harshly for it – so she ran away.
She probably felt as though she had no hope and no future. She wasn’t getting any encouragement, she wasn’t considered worthy, and she certainly didn’t have the approval of her masters. But alone in the wilderness, she discovered that she wasn’t alone and that she was seen by God.
If you’re deep in a tough spot and have been waiting and waiting – and waiting some more – for a glimmer of hope to shine through, there’s an action coming. You might be at the point of appearing to be drunk at the altar of the Lord – seen as worthless by the world’s standards – but God sees you… you are remembered… you are valued… and God will bring about an action for your situation at the most perfect time.
Some may consider me to be a bit slow when I admit that I’ll read a single chapter over and over again… and again and again. I chew on it and take time to focus on each word. But His Word is to be savored. I want you to savor Psalm 139 this week. Take in the richness of how precious you are to the Creator of everything! This chapter shows in great detail that He approves of you – all of you – and He won’t leave you abandoned.