If you missed last week’s post, Unmasked, be sure to check it out. Without further interruption, I hope you enjoy the 2nd installment of the series: “Identification Please”.
As a PK (Preacher’s Kid) who was homeschooled, everyone I was in significant contact with knew that I was a PK. Then, enrolled in a Christian school, it was a badge of honor – everyone seemed to think we had all the answers in Chapel. All that changed when my brother and I started going to a secular school. My dad had re-enlisted into the military, we relocated, and my brother and I started going to the DOD schools (Department of Defense). These were the schools for all of the military kiddos living on base. Kiddos that had lived all over the country, all over the world, and from all walks of life.
I had been in a bubble of Christianity, wholesomeness, and family values for the first decade of my life. Divorce was a sin for selfish heathens, cussing and tattoos were evidence that hell was your final destination, and anything to do with sex was something that you didn’t even talk about or you were considered loose. First day at Irwin Middle School and I discovered that all my classmates and their families were destined to burn for eternity.
I had the understanding that all Catholics were hell-bound because they didn’t believe the truth about Jesus, they worshipped Mary because she was Jesus’ mother, and they believed in a realm of punishment before being accepted into Heaven. Don’t even get me started on other beliefs – on base, the only churches I knew about were divided up between Protestant and Catholic. I had no idea there was such a thing as Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, or Hinduism (or any others). Like I said: bubble.
I was in 6th grade! What did I know? I also grew up being told that Barbies were horrible toys because they would lend an unrealistic expectation of the female body, all magic was bad (Smurfs & Care Bears) but Disney, Rainbow Brite, and My Little Pony was okay. If you drank alcohol or smoked – hell (same with any nicotine products and any and all drugs). If you cussed – hell. If you had tattoos – hell. If you divorced and remarried, you were living in sin unless there was death or adultery (by the other person of course). I was in 6th grade and had a very narrow, legalistic view of the world.
I didn’t want anyone to know I was a PK because I didn’t want them to think I was judging them. Soon enough, I didn’t want people to know I was a PK because I didn’t want to be judged either. I wanted to fit in, have friends, and not feel like an outcast – why did that mean that I felt the need to hide a big aspect of my life?
In today’s political and social climate, there’s quite a bit of temptation to get involved and be outspoken, even to the point of being obnoxious. We get riled up simply by reading or watching the news. Instead of feeling informed as we continue about our day, we subconsciously pick sides. We’re this or we’re that. We are definitely not over in this camp, but we’re on that side over there. And there’s no way you can bear it if someone thinks otherwise – what would that do to your social status or career?
We don’t want anyone to know about where we stand on mandated vaccines, to mask or not to mask, red or blue state, abortion, race theories, or faith. Yes, faith. Just like when I was going into my 6th grade year, I discovered that I was a small fish in a largely uncharted ocean. There were a lot of fish – big fish, loud fish, bright fish, and scary fish – there were also some very beautiful fish. I wanted to be a fish that survived, and I didn’t think that could happen unless I lived as a fish with chameleon capabilities.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 NIV
For a long time, my reluctance to shine my light scared me. Isn’t it obvious that I was denying Jesus? I was taught over and over again that if I deny Jesus before men, that He would deny me before God (Matthew 10:33). But how is that reconciled with what Peter did? He denied knowing Jesus not once, not twice, but three times – and cursed and swore when he did it (Matthew 26:69-74)! I knew I was doomed… just like all my classmates and don’t forget the Catholics while we’re at it. Doomed.
Jesus, however, restored Peter after the three denials (John 21:15-17). Peter denied Jesus 3 times and Jesus restored Peter 3 times. In the early 2000’s, when I started to discover who God really is, I discovered who I am, too.
Like Peter, I’ve denied Jesus. Over and over and over… and over again (so many times I can’t keep up). Maybe not outright the way Peter did, but in my actions, perhaps my lack of actions, words and deeds. Living a lifestyle of sin is a denial of Jesus. Not speaking up when you know you should is a denial of Jesus. I’ve denied Jesus! Yet He decided to restore me.
How many times have you denied Jesus? Have you, like me, lost count? Peter was told it would happen, when it would happen, and how many times it would happen – and he still denied Jesus! But Jesus wasn’t done with him, and He’s not done with you, either.
But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Luke 22:32-34 NIV
Jesus prayed for Peter, restored Peter and told him to use his failing to strengthen others. Peter was instructed to feed His lambs and take care of His sheep. That’s a lot of trust placed on someone who failed so miserably. Jesus restores. I’m living proof that Jesus restores. He brings beauty from the ashes, rebuilds from ruins, and binds up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61).
This is part of my identity, and if you’ve placed your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, this is part of your identity, too. Remind yourself every time someone brings up your past. Remind yourself every time the devil tries to bring you down with the sins of your past. BE who Jesus made you to be.
I am… RESTORED.