Outsourced Supply

This blog is all about spreading the truth of God’s amazing goodness – such an inadequate word, good, for describing our Lord and Creator – and for encouraging as many people as I can possibly reach through the wonders of technology. It may seem a bit strange that I’m going to use a four-letter word a bit in here today: hate. God used the word, so why not? Here goes…

I hate crumbs on the counter, the table, and on the floor. I know that there will come a day when I would trade my clean counters just to have my kiddos back home (I have a good 18 years still), but there are times I can get a bit peeved. Sometimes it’s simply a generous sprinkling of salt left behind, and other times it’s the crumb equivalent of half a piece of bread! Pieces of grass find their way over the threshold, indoor grains of sand start to outnumber the outdoor grains of sand, and I can’t seem to sweep fast enough or often enough.

I hate that chocolate cake, brownies, cheese danishes, cheesecake, cookies, and apple fritters are not considered healthy. I hate when someone eats the last piece of chocolate cake, even if I’m the one who enjoyed it. I hate that I have to act on some pretty strong self-control to not eat the last piece of cake, not buy the cheese danishes, and say no to making brownies (especially the gooey kind!). And I hate that I have to share the goodies with the crumb-spreading, mulch-making, beach-relocating mini-me’s. I really think that 80% of parenthood involves sneaking snacks.

I hate that housework is never done and always tends to distract from quality time spent with my family. I hate that I grow resentful because of my hatred of crumby counters, miniscule particles cluttering my floors, and the dishes – I didn’t even mention the dishes!

There was a time while living in Alaska that we watched the show Frasier. I really can’t stand the main character (not the actor, but the character of Frasier). He’s so pompous and arrogant and self-absorbed. There was an episode in which Daphne was going to move out and was taking a weekend to look for a place. While she was gone, Frasier and his father, Martin, were at each other’s throats! They argued about newspapers, lights being left on, and a wet sponge being left in the sink.

I’ve found that I hate our sponge or scrub brush being left to float in not-so-clean (greasy, actually) water. The sink has to be cleaned out and cleaned before any dishes can hope to come out looking and feeling clean (they have to squeak, too). You can’t have clean dishes if you have a dirty sink. Warm water doesn’t work – it has to be scalding. And before it can be considered a finished job, the sink needs to be wiped out, rinsed, and the sponge needs to be rinsed, wrung, and hung. I hate that I put such thought into something so trivial as dishes.

I hate how I react when I’m working on my posts or doing a devotional and our kiddos are vying for my attention. Sometimes it’s more of a cacophony of noise generated when I really don’t need it. Sometimes it’s the rare day that our kiddos decide they don’t like each other. I hate how I react, how I feel, and my thoughts that tend to exaggerate the feelings of selfishness coursing through my veins. A lot of self-condemnation goes on due to just how much I hate those things and hate that I hate them!

There have been many times that all of these things I hate have brought me to do some serious introspection (remember the self-condemnation?). Geez, I even hate that word: introspection. Yes, there are things we should recognize as needing to change and we should strive to be better with each and every day, but we should also be less focused on ourselves and more focused on Jesus.

When I was in my 20’s, I was extremely interested in self-help books. I was always searching for ways to better myself (certain areas of myself at least). There were rich and poor dads, making bed must-haves, how-to’s galore, and 7 habits later I realized that self was not going to lead me where I needed (or wanted) to go. Don’t get me wrong! I’m a firm believer on finding ways to improve, even if it’s doing one small thing to start. But my source for this ability to change is not… self.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:23-26 NIV

I picture Jesus, smiling and laughing, and in complete understanding about the difficulty of saying no to any of the sweets I mentioned earlier. Especially any of them with chocolate… or cream cheese… or sugar. I often wonder if he would get frustrated with dust and debris from being the son of a carpenter. Did He prefer His tools to be spotless? Did He want His workbench to be cleared off after each use? What about His attitude towards the disciples? I’m sure He became frustrated at some point or another (Luke 9:41, Matthew 14:31).

Because of Jesus, we have Someone who can directly relate to everything we feel and experience as a human. He understands what it’s like to have hunger for food (Matthew 21:18-19, Matthew 4:2), to feel worn out from a long day (John 4:6), to go through the effort of trying to explain things of God to mankind (Matthew 13:10-15), to lose friends to death (John 11:1-44), to celebrate joyous occasions with friends and family (John 2:1-11), and to feel overwhelming sorrow (Matthew 26:38).

I’m not against self-help books. There’s quite a selection out there to choose from these days. I wonder why that is…? Probably because they have the audience / reader focusing on themselves as their source, their power, and their individual self-salvation. They can do it. They’re strong. They have self. But with man, with self, the change that is needed and sought after is impossible.

While I tend to beat myself up after too many sweets (sometimes the bloated feeling is punishment enough, right?), I scold myself for getting upset about the mess of the house or the state of the sink, and I do a bit of self-condemning after getting frustrated with our kiddos, I’m choosing to focus on God. It has to be a choice, and it has to made daily, moment to moment. And it’s a choice that yields fantastic results, better than any self-help book on the market.

Start with one thing a day: say a quick prayer, listen to a praise and worship song, read a verse or two from His Word. Be purposeful. Choose to be purposeful. With God, all things are possible. Even for me to be able to say no to sweets, to whistle while I work, and to keep calm with our kiddos.