Out of the Shadows

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)

I’ve noticed that I frequently refer to a completely inappropriate TV show, “Friends.” Whether it’s a well-timed quote that others in my generation catch and laugh about or it’s noticing the similarities in personalities of the individual characters, there seems to be a plethora of similarities and wise nuggets to choose from. The writers did an awesome job of developing the characters, extreme as they were, and I often see characteristics of the six friends in myself and others. There’s a high-strung-perfectionist (who shows her irritation with a vein popping out of her forehead), the spoiled shopaholic, the weirdly goofy blond, the pessimistic scholar, the sarcastic budgeter, and the gluttonous child.

In 2020, many have faced hardships, loss, and heartache. For those, I am truly sorry and have been praying. My family has not been hugely impacted by the pandemic and may never feel the impact others have experienced, but I’m not oblivious. And I’m not bragging when sharing about our year. We experienced a phenomenal vacation to southeast Asia, our eldest experienced four milestones within three months (turned 18, graduated high school, got married, and is now expecting her first child), and we made a significant move from Alaska to North Carolina. In all of those situations, I couldn’t help but spend some time in reflection. Reflection as our daughter moved into adulthood, pledged her faithfulness to her husband, and is now experiencing the joys of her first child using her bladder as a trampoline. Being a guest in another country, I saw the richness in our lives we take for granted when compared with the significant lack that is considered normal – I was swimming in gratitude at new depths. I also noticed quite a few moments that the high-strung-perfectionist decided to show herself.

With a graduation that the parents played a major role in, being a side-lined mother-of-the-bride who wanted so badly to help, and a cross-country move that had a very fluid agenda… needless to say, I dealt, and am dealing, with my own bit of stress. I have a tendency to take on more than what’s mine and get upset when my unvoiced expectations of others go unmet. Combine that with the high-pitched octaves (even if only in my head), the ugly crying that’s indecipherable, and I would be remiss if I left out “the vein” – now you have an idea with where I am (whether exaggerated or not).

Obviously, in the scripture passage I included at the beginning of this, I can wholeheartedly relate to Martha. I’m constantly trying to do, do, do while getting frustrated that others around me don’t seem to notice anything needs to be done. The reality that I see portrayed in this scripture passage is that Martha was putting a higher importance on the “do, do, do” than she was on the “be, be, be”. Martha was being the ultimate hostess, but it was to her detriment. There was so much that she was missing out on.

While I know that there are times to let the dishes sit, or times that I can let someone else refill their own drink, there are parts of the hosting that I recognize that I thrive on. I love to cook! I love being able to offer glutton-free to those who need it, kosher to those who want it, and chocolate to those who crave it. I love it when people I love recognize that they are loved. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that, right? In a religious sense, it’s exciting to be part of the process of the feasts and celebrations, getting to know the why can be a big part of pointing to the Who. Knowing our heritage can offer a deeper appreciation for those that came before us and the gift of grace we get to live in now.

When I read through the Old Testament, there are so many pictures of Jesus and His ultimate desire for relationship. He paints pictures, or what is often referred to as “types and shadows.” In Hebrews 10:1, Paul explains one such “shadow”:

“The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming – not the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship.” Hebrews 10:1 (NIV)

As I said before: I’m not opposed to doing – in fact I often do too much. How often, though, are we putting our efforts into things that don’t actually matter? Before anyone gets upset, if it’s important to you, I believe that it’s important to God. God created us individually with specific hopes, dreams, and talents and skills to make them happen. What I’m meaning to express is that all of the “I’s” that needed to be dotted, all of the “T’s” that needed to be crossed – the annual sacrifices required and the annual feasts and celebrations that had to be just so (if you missed the sunset, you were screwed – pardon the expression) – they were a shadow; not the real thing. I hope I haven’t offended, but I’m not done…

It’s the holiday season. I’m pretty sure it starts every year on November 1st (for some, it starts before Halloween – and others it’s as early as July). This is the time of year for traditions, am I right? Growing up, we would put the Christmas tree up on or around December 1st. We spent our Christmas Eve at the church doing the candlelight service, and after we would be allowed to open one gift (from the grandparents). Christmas morning was like many other households; stockings and presents. But we would wait till Epiphany (a time in January dedicated to the three wise men who visited Jesus) to take our decorations down. On Epiphany, we would have one more gift to open. What traditions does your family have that you look forward to every year?

Traditions are not bad. Many times they can add quite a bit to the holiday they were made for – like reading the Christmas story with the family. On the other hand, they can oh-so-easily distract from the intent in its making. Even something that is good to do, like providing a Christmas meal and gifts for a family in need, can lose the meaning behind it… even going to church (yes, I said that).

Now imagine that you often host meals in your home (weird for the year 2020, right?), but you’re caught unaware in receiving your guest this time. None of the preparations have been made that you would have done in advance, and your guest is not just a king, but He is THE KING. You can’t have Him eating off of your regular dishes – get out the fine china! You can’t give Him yesterday’s bread – it has to be freshly baked! The coffee needs to be brewed fresh (yes, I think Jesus would enjoy coffee), and get some fresh cream from the cow (or goat?). On top of that, you’re hoping that He didn’t notice the dishes that hadn’t been washed, the dog hair that’s collecting like dust-bunnies in the corner, and the fingerprints on the windows left by your kiddos… Are those crumbs on the table and is the toilet flushed? I can imagine the panic setting in when realizing the kiddos are looking a bit feral. There’s no time to sit at His feet – there’s too much to do!

Once the holiday season hits, all too often we start focusing on all of the traditions – the things – that we think matter. The perfect gifts, stocking stuffers, decorating EVERYTHING, getting the Christmas cards out to every living being, baking up holiday memories, watching the movies that mostly focus on snowmen, Santa, and cheesy Christmas romances, and then there are the social events (though I’m not sure they count this year). Even the tradition of going to church can be part of the “do, do, do” that takes away from Who it’s all about. As I recognize this, I can hear Jesus saying to me, “Alisha, Alisha, Alisha… you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”

On one hand, the year of 2020 has stripped us of so much, but on the other hand it’s a year that we’re being given even more. We’re being stripped of many of our traditions and being given the opportunity to focus on Who really matters. We’re being given the opportunity to sit at His feet and just be. The number of candles lit at certain times of the day are insignificant when in the presence of the King. Those things are just shadows… Why would I focus on the shadow when I have the privilege of focusing on the One who made the shadow? Anything I could ever try to do would pale in comparison to the One who calmed the storm, healed the sick, fed the hungry, raised the dead, and took my place.

Let’s use this time to be like Martha’s sister, Mary. Let’s sit at Jesus’ feet and just be. Let’s relish this time we have been given, away from the distractions of the outside world, and focus on God and His absolute goodness. Dare I say, let’s put the shadows – the traditions new and old – outside our focus. I can only imagine how much brighter God’s goodness will shine when we look at Him instead of His shadow.