If you’ve read some of my posts from near the beginning of the year, you might recall that I challenged myself to memorize Psalm 91. It’s a beautiful passage that is God’s promise of protection for any who are His and have put their trust in Him. At least that’s the gist on first glance. In my post Mine? or His?, I focus on faithfulness – specifically His faithfulness. I finished memorizing the first half of Psalm 91 and have been ruminating on it for a while. As I’ve started in on the final stretch of the chapter, His faithfulness keeps leaping off the page.
My husband and I have finally found a church that we love and feel really good about. Not all churches fit all people – just like translations of the scriptures. God can, and often does, use all for His glory. Since finding our church, we’ve gotten into our church. Small group studies, the women’s ministry, and Sunday service have collided with our regular readings, podcasts, and discussions. The timing couldn’t have been better.
Not all kiddos are raised the same way with the same beliefs, so when we took on a bonus kiddo this summer, we experienced quite a bit of growing pains. There were days I woke up feeling depleted, not because the bonus kiddo was making it difficult, but because I wish I could snap my finger and make it all better (or wring the necks of those who made it tough).
There have been days that I would sit down to write and nothing would come. My fingers would hover over the keys and then drop to a resting position because the weight was so heavy within me. I felt empty. Then I felt like a failure for not continuing on in sharing about God’s grace, goodness, and faithfulness. And then I felt like a fraud for experiencing this emptiness. All. The. Things.
I’ve experienced seasonal depression before. This was different. I didn’t feel depressed – I don’t feel depressed. I was experiencing a wide range of emotions: frustration, feeling unqualified, disregarded, taken advantage of, and I felt lost in a sea of uncertainty for what the future held for our family with or without our bonus kiddo. Do we plan with our bonus kiddo in mind? With more than one bonus kiddo? Staying in the town we’re in or moving elsewhere? Then September rolled around and things started to shift.
The women’s Bible study started up for the Fall and I jumped on it. The small groups at church started up and my husband and I signed up for a weekly meeting. I needed people. Church attendance is beneficial, but there’s a big difference between attendance and relationship. Attendance alone can leave a person feeling isolated even while surrounded by loving people. We were created to relate with our God and each other.
With the holidays starting next week our groups will have their final meetings until January. I’ve been looking back over the notes I’ve taken at each and have found myself amazed. In my last post I shared that God had been speaking to me about moving forward (in case you missed it, Time to Shine is, in my humble opinion, a good read). IT’S TIME. GO FORWARD. All of those that I mentioned in the last post have steadily been marching through my brain. But there’s one that has been added to the mix.
HE IS FAITHFUL.
When our fathers were in Egypt, they gave no thought to your miracles; they did not remember your many kindnesses, and they rebelled by the sea, the Red Sea. Psalm 106:7 NIV
Many of us can recall that God parted the Red Sea. He parted the waters and the children of Israel walked across on dry land (they didn’t even get muddy!).
He rebuked the Red Sea, and it dried up; he led them through the depths as through a desert. Psalm 106:9 NIV
Obviously, the children of Israel had done something right. Wait – they didn’t. It tells us that they rebelled! God was still faithful. They had witnessed His power with the plagues – they didn’t suffer through the plagues. They were living safely in Goshen. I bet they could still hear the heartbreaking cries when every Egyptian household lost at least 1 person (Exodus 12:30). Firstborn, remember? Not just babies.
After they were set free from a life of slavery, after the waters of the sea were parted for them, they still felt the need to complain. They still doubted that God was going to provide food and water.
HE IS FAITHFUL.
God provided water (Exodus 15:22-27). God provided food (Exodus 16:11-18). God instructed Moses to strike the rock at Horeb for water to flow out of it – enough for all of the people and their livestock – and water flowed (Exodus 17:6-7). In another instance, Moses was instructed to speak to a rock and God would cause water to flow. In this instance, Moses decided to strike the rock instead of following God’s instructions (Numbers 20:8-11). Side note: this is a picture of judgement (striking the rock) and a picture of grace (speaking to the rock).
The Israelites complained and messed up – God provided over and over again. Moses did things his way instead of God’s way – God still made water flow for His children.
HE IS FAITHFUL.
It’s easy to forget the ways God has proved faithful to us. With all of the noise around us, the everyday busyness of life, it’s no wonder we struggle to trust in His faithfulness. But He. Is. Faithful.
His faithfulness…
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. II Timothy 2:13 NLT
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10 NIV
This is my focus as I GO FORWARD because IT’S TIME. Regardless of the obstacles or the uncertainties, HE IS FAITHFUL. He always has been, and He always will be. I pray that you will be encouraged to walk boldly into each day knowing that He will faithfully provide for you. He will faithfully part waters for you. And if you find that the waters weren’t parted for you, He’s still faithful – your enemy probably can’t swim.
Words from above running through your heart.