No Good, Very Bad Day

I have a confession to make: there are occasions in which my mood shifts to what I can only describe as unpleasant. Well, I suppose I could use other words, but this is a Christian blog after all. Some of these shifts are rooted in my OCD tendencies, others because I’m entering that stage of pregnancy in which I can’t seem to get enough sleep (that stage has been since the beginning by the way), and the tried and true is that I’m female. BUT I refuse to place blame on anything other than myself. Why? Because we always have a choice.

We recently made a trip to Ohio to visit some family and help the grandparents with home and grounds upkeep and repairs. All of my husband’s siblings and their kids were there: the first time in years. We all went in together to rent a house to accommodate our large group and the week flew by. All of the cousins under the age of 12 were there (we had 9 kiddos racing around) and memories were made (sorry for falling the tree on the power lines – we at least missed the house!). There were also grumpy attitudes, name calling, and tears (mostly from the kiddos). Our son, especially, had a tough go for a little while. The dynamics of having only sisters to play rough with and having boy cousins suddenly showing him that what he thought was rough was not rough… well, I kept having to remind him of his choices.

While girls can be rough (our youngest – she’s 4 – won’t hesitate to put her older brother in a rear-naked-choke-hold, sweetly giggling the whole time) the rough they bring is a bit different. Our son is not used to the ruthless wrestling, the kicking carefully aimed at what we call “the tenders”, and punching without holding back. He’s used to girls… There were several points during our week in which our son would come over, pouting and sulking, stating that he wanted to go home – he wasn’t having any fun. The others were being mean to him. He grew tired of hearing that the choice was his… He could choose to be happy or choose to sulk. Oh how I hate having to eat my words!

Moving from Alaska to North Carolina has certainly brought about some required adjustments. We have so much to be thankful for – a place to call home, having a yard for the dog, a pool and hot-tub on the property, and the ability to wash our neighbor’s dishes through our window. Oh how I hate that! With the cookie-cutter home, the itty-bitty yard, and the cost-effectiveness of having a mortgage instead of a monthly rent payment, we’ve made the decision to start looking for a home to buy sooner than we had originally planned. Exciting, right? Definitely, but the excitement has also been met with a few frustrations.

There has been nothing in our area that checks the boxes we’ve come up with. We could purchase more than an hour away and have it all – except a manageable commute time. We decided to do a bit a driving to get an idea of the area – neighborhoods, communities, and schools – and have discovered that there seems to be a sea of modular homes, manufactured homes, and trailers. And the price per square foot on those are, at times, more than the traditionally built homes. While facing this and hearing the kiddos voicing “Are we going back home yet?” I felt my mood start to plummet. This was supposed to be fun, exciting, and filled with hope and expectations.

Once we finally arrived back home (the kiddos were pleased), I started putting dinner together. I enjoy trying new recipes and had one in mind – it made my mouth water and I was looking forward to seeing how it turned out. I was gathering ingredients and discovered that the two onions I had bought a little over a week before were covered in mold. On closer inspection, they were filled with mold as well. Great! We’re not finding a house and all of my onions are molded through! I was so frustrated! I wasn’t going to make the new recipe, I’d never had onions go bad before, and I felt, overall, defeated in my day. I knew my attitude needed to be adjusted, but I wanted to wallow a bit. Then I discovered that my phone charger was missing…

After putting together a successful meal (anything with bacon is successful, right?), my ever-patient husband running to the store to pick up a new phone charger, and the kitchen getting cleaned up, I was putting the kiddos to bed. I discovered in those few moments with the kiddos something I should have recognized earlier on: prayer changes things. I prayed with the kiddos, as is usual, and verbalized my gratitude in the house we have, the house we will have, and the memories we are able to make – and will make – in both. After closing the doors to their rooms, I came out and hugged my husband, telling him that I should have prayed sooner.

As a magnet junkie, I actually have a one that reads, “Pray hardest when it’s hardest to pray.” I wish I had not been blinded by my bad mood; that it had caught my eye, but as soon as I started praying, my discouragement started to dissipate. I recognized that God doesn’t have just any old house for us, but that He has one specifically in mind. His timing for it is specifically planned out to suit us perfectly, and He is the One who fills our storehouse to bursting at the seams. It’s easy to get frustrated with the process, impatient with the timeframe (we’ve been trained for instant-gratification, haven’t we?), and chomping at the bit for the next best thing.

While I learned (again) that I have a choice in my mood – and I’m familiar with the tools to make my attitude adjustments – our son is just getting started. Gratitude for what we have in the moment, and even in what we hope to have in the future, changes everything! I wrote about this several times over the past two years, but one time in particular comes to mind: From Survive to Thrive. In the post, I wrote out my husband’s green M&M story. If you missed it or want to be reminded of it, definitely check it out. I took the lesson from it and applied it to our son while in Ohio.

When he first came up to me while we were in Ohio, he was complaining about how his cousins were mean, his life was horrible, and he wanted to go home. I zeroed in on that he thought his life was horrible. I took him to our room and asked him if he had clean water to drink. Yeah…? Then I pulled up a picture of a child drinking from a muddy watering hole. I asked him if he had food to eat. Yeah…? I switched over to pictures of malnourished children. I may have scarred him for life and I know it’s not something he’ll soon forget. While we were sitting there on the floor beside the bed (I’m pregnant – do you have any idea how hard it is to get up off the floor?), I told him that I wanted him to list 10 things he was thankful for. He immediately listed clean water and food.

After he listed 10 things, there was a noticeable change in his countenance. This didn’t stop him from having other bad-attitude moments during our trip, but it did offer him a little perspective that went pretty far in adjusting his attitude a bit more quickly. Over the last couple weeks, we both had a perspective shift. Mine involved prayer and both involved gratitude.

When you feel the negative emotions trying to overwhelm, when your thoughts take a turn down a dark alley, or when you can’t easily see God in your day…. pray. It’s not always easy to pray when you’re in the thick of it, but why let it get that far? When it’s especially difficult, start small – thank God for the clean water you have to drink, the food that’s in your belly, and the family that surrounds you (even if they’re taking shots at your “tenders” for fun).

I know this isn’t the typical post, but it was on my heart to share. I’m confident that someone out there needed to read this. For other similar posts, I’ve gone through and gathered some from the past couple of years that have a focus on an attitude of gratitude. It’s just a drop in the bucket because all of my posts point back to Jesus and God’s absolute, undeniable goodness.

• Count Your Blessings
• Reflecting the Future
• Reason to Choose Joy
• Prayer Series
• Forever Favored Series

I would love to hear from you on ways you’ve fought off bad moods and found the rays of sunshine in the midst of a storm, so don’t hesitate with sharing.