Anyone ever question their worth… their value? Just me? Maybe it’s more along the lines of approval or acceptance. This has been a reoccurring theme for me (maybe you haven’t read my post, 5 Bags of Chips), but I’m starting to recognize that the struggle I have goes through highs and lows. I’ll be doing really well with standing firm in my identity as a child of God, but then I give the enemy one too many moments of whispering in my ear before finally coming to my senses and shutting him down.
It’s in those moments – those lows – that either a seed gets planted, or fertilizer gets liberally spread. I know that this isn’t just me. And I’m understanding more and more that a lot of these insecurities – not all, but a lot – stem from religious legalism.
Whether it was directly taught or not, I caught quite a bit of a what is called a mixed-grace message. We’re saved by grace, but we’re still expected to perform. We’re saved by grace, but we better be on top of maintaining our salvation. We’re saved by grace, but we better be producing fruit. We’re saved by grace, but you better not slip up. The assumed consequence for failing in any of these areas is the loss of relationship and for some it’s even the assumed loss of salvation.
I absolutely believe that if you’re saved – if you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior – your actions should follow. Fruit will naturally be produced, but just like any plant, there is a process and ways to cultivate the growth. The grace message proclaims the good news that fruit is not produced from your striving – it is produced through you by the Holy Spirit.
The message of grace is absolutely opposed to the earning mentality… but please hear me when I say that it is not opposed to effort. There is a big difference between earning and effort. An author I really appreciate, Dallas Willard, explains this by stating that effort is action and earning is attitude. If my attitude is focused on trying to please God when He’s already pleased with me, then I’m wrapped up in working to earn my salvation. Effort, however, is picking up my Bible instead of turning on the television. It’s waking up for church even though sleeping in would be simply glorious. Pursuing a relationship requires effort.
As someone who struggles with measuring up, earning approval, and doubting my value, I can easily get caught up in the dangerous cycle of trying to earn God’s blessings. Trying to gain favor in God’s eyes through my many (or not so many) good deeds. Do I give out of guilt? Do I grudgingly volunteer? Do I feel shame when I know I could have done more but chose not to? If I say yes to any of those, then my attitude is all about earning.
It’s not about trying to earn my title of Child of God. It’s not about striving to become, it’s about being willing to be made. Take a look at this passage where Jesus calls His first disciples:
Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19 NKJV
Notice that Jesus didn’t say: Follow Me, and I’ll teach you how to earn your keep. No, Jesus stated that He would be to One to make them into who they needed to be. Jesus went to the cross so we wouldn’t have to, and He’s the One who has taken on the responsibility of not leaving us the same. But it does take our willingness to be reshaped.
When it comes to effort is action and earning is attitude, being a follower of Jesus is not sitting back and doing nothing. There absolutely is effort involved, but it has to be with the correct attitude – or better said, from a heart that is postured to receive what God has provided. As another wonderful author puts it, earning our way is simply not included in the fabric of grace (Amy Seiffert – Grace Looks Amazing on You). You’re not going to keep paying the bank if your loan has been paid in full.
We cannot earn God’s favor, we cannot force the fruit, and we cannot experience change if our attitude is to earn God’s approval through our works. If the Holy Spirit isn’t tugging you to volunteer in the nursery or Children’s Church, then that’s not a fruit for you to produce. The pulpit is not for everyone, a mission field in a foreign country is not necessarily where God wants you to serve, and just because you can do something doesn’t mean that it’s God’s best for you. Boundaries can be blessings; a no can be righteous.
One of my biggest regrets of the last five years has to do with not doing something that I know God was calling me to do. If you don’t know my story, the short version is that God, in an instant, broke the chains of addiction that had held me bound for more than a decade. From one breath to the next, I was set free.
Many people who have struggled with addiction – mine was alcoholism – continue to struggle with the temptation even after years of sobriety. Not me. There was no struggle once the chains were broken. There has been zero desire for it, zero temptation for it, and that includes being at ease when I’m around others who are actively partaking in my former vice. I can say it in other ways, but the gist is that God made me so free that I’m still walking in that same freedom today (almost a full decade later).
My regret is that I firmly believe God had been opening doors for me to share my testimony with the Celebrate Recovery program where we used to live… and I kept avoiding it. I came up with excuse after excuse for not checking out the C.R. program, but the biggest one was that I didn’t identify as someone who needed help – my chains were already gone! But I also felt as though I would be bragging about how God so effectively helped me while others are stuck going through the long, painful process of breaking the cycles of addiction.
Um, why would I not want to brag about what God has done for me? Why would I not trust that the Holy Spirit could use my testimony to make God real for someone? Can you imagine the fruit that could have been produced for growing the Kingdom of God if I had simply followed the direction of the Holy Spirit? There He was saying, Follow Me, and I will produce the fruit through you… but instead, I kept forcing fruit in other areas – I doubt it was very good.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
I’m not typically one to pick up The Message version of the Bible. I think I have a dozen or so translations on hand, but not of The Message. When one of my pastors broke this one out in a recent study, my feathers were almost ruffled, but as I listened and read along, I found myself longing for it… the unforced rhythms of grace…
If the effort God asks of me is the unforced rhythms of grace, I don’t want to have an attitude of trying to earn. This is a reminder that I really needed, and I know that I’ll need it again later on down the road. But God is patient with us. We can rest in the knowledge that our situations of messing up over and over again will never change our position with God. There’s no earning required.