Love that Builds

For all who have been following my posts, our family welcomed our newest addition last Tuesday (08/03/2021). Our baby girl was in our arms after a pregnancy that lasted 39 weeks and 5 days, and a labor/delivery that lasted 2 hours and 39 minutes (from water breaking to birth). Both of us are home, happy, and healthy (maybe a bit sore). Between caring for a newborn and gearing up for the start of the homeschool year for three eager-to-hold-their-new-sister kiddos, I would be remiss if I didn’t toss in there the hormonal roller coaster that comes with being post-partum. Am I hot? Cold? Tired? Energetic? What is this moisture coming out of my eyes? These tear ducts are being insubordinate! Now I’m laughing?!?!

There’s so much that goes into parenthood (this includes caregivers, too!) The vital roles we play in raising children is nothing to scoff at. There are times I feel quite wisdomous (it’s not a word, but it should be) and other times I’m not sure I have the right answers. Those are the times I tell the kiddos to ask their dad when he gets home from work, or when I flat out tell them that I’m not certain. It’s fun when it’s a question I can make up a fictitious answer to. Kind of like the Tooth Fairy requiring the tooth to be in a baggy so she doesn’t have to dig around in the covers looking for the molar or lateral incisor. Or that freckles are the marks left behind when an angel has kissed that spot of skin. Sometimes though, like I mentioned, the questions can be tough to answer – especially to younger kiddos.

Sometimes the questions are in regards to what Heaven is like, and other times (like in my home right now) why God makes babies so cute. Other times, it can be much more difficult. When a friend of ours suddenly passes away: Why? When kiddos don’t have food to eat and only have muddy water to drink: Why? When natural disasters wipe out entire cities: Why? 

Most would think that a series on love would include the I Corinthians 13 passage. It would be difficult to define love without that passage, right? BUT to wrap up this chat on love, I wanted to bring up the times that love is shown when it’s sometimes hard to handle. You’ve probably heard the questions that start out with “How could a loving God do this?” Or “How could a loving God allow this?”  Both questions elude to God being the cause or the source of the grief-inducing situation. While we know that doing something and allowing something are two different things, they both have a tendency to repel people away from God instead of drawing them to God.

While I’m sticking with the topic of love and not dwelling on the sovereignty of God, I think it’s vitally important that we recognize that God is always good. He has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11), His will is for everyone to be saved (II Peter 3:9), and He forgave the sins of the entire world (I John 2:2, I Timothy 4:10). He has also given us the freedom to choose. We make our own choices, we live in a fallen world, and the devil is on the prowl. Not one of these states that God is the source of the painful situations, the bad things that happen, or of the heartache that befalls us. Believing that God wills bad things may offer us temporary comfort, but will eventually hinder our trust in His love and goodness and is flat out slanderous. God could demand our love (ever picture Him as a puppet-master or is that just me?) – He has the power to and the supreme authority to make it be, but thankfully that’s not how He works.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Notice all of the debilitating health issues He has planned for you? No? The financial problems that have you riddled with anxiety and depression? What we easily attribute to God as the author – or claim that since it happened that it must be God’s will – is plainly refuted with this passage from Jeremiah. God’s plans for us are good! So where is the love in all the bad? If God is good (and He is) how can we experience His love when we are going through the tough times that stretch us to our limits?

While Jeremiah 29:11 is a well known verse, there’s another in Romans that is highly popular as well:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)

This is a fine scripture, but there’s more to the picture. Let’s talk about those moments when we’re riddled with anxiety over a health report we’re going to hear from the doctor about. When we get a devastating phone call from family in regards to a horrible accident that has left children without a mother or father. Or when we have to shut down our business, our livelihood, and have no idea how we will feed and house our family. Where is the love? If God is good and loves us, where is His love to be found when things seem so bleak?

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” Romans 8:22-27 (NIV)

In His infinite love, when we’re facing the consequences of our choices or the realities of living in a fallen world, God has equipped us by giving us the Holy Spirit. He intercedes on our behalf, helps us in our weaknesses, and it’s all according to the will of God. He wants to see us prosper, have hope and a future. Do things always work out the way we want them to? Not always. We don’t always see a miraculous healing or experience a financial breakthrough. But we have God who can still work good out of horrible situations – that’s another facet of His love. Sometimes when we experience those letdowns, when we don’t get a certain outcome, we focus on the negative – on all that we recognize we have lost.

I have looked back (many times) at different hardships and losses I’ve experienced in my 40+ years and am (now) able to recognize so much good that God brought out from the sorrow. Even when I suffered through some of the consequences of my own poor choices, God was able to work good in it. What the devil was trying to use to break me, I (eventually) allowed God to use it to build me. Sometimes the building took place years later, but the love God had been offering for that heartache was never retracted. Beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61). God will not force His love on us – we have to be willing. God displayed love throughout the Old Testament, but was not described as “love” until the New Testament. He’s the same God who has freely given us a new covenant of peace and declared His unfailing love (Isaiah 54:10).

When you face your hardships, whether consequences of poor choices or because the devil is on the prowl, recognize that God neither willed it nor wanted it. He only wants good for you – He wants you to prosper (in all areas – relationships, health, finances, etc.), He wants a good future for you, and He wants you to never be without hope. Allow Him to love you. Allow Him to bring beauty from the ashes. Even if it’s a pain from a lifetime ago, His love is still there, ready to heal the hurt. He suffered greatly on the cross to have this opportunity to love you and have a relationship with you – and He wants the absolute best for you. That’s love. And I’m the recipient of that love – and it’s there for you, too.