No matter what society or government says, parenthood is a high calling beyond description. I heard someone recently point out the inconsistencies in the workforce. It looks good if you show on a resume that you spent time being a nanny, but if there’s a gap in your work history due to being a stay-at-home-parent then they consider you to be behind the times and it’s a mark against you. Being a parent is much more difficult than being a nanny.
As a mom of 5, I can say with all certainty that I am far from being an expert. My parenting style is going to be different from others and I’m not going to say that I have all the answers. There are so many different personalities in both children and parents that parenting cannot possibly come in a one-style-fits-all. It’s also normal for us to have a perception of who God is that stems from our parents.
My parents were far from perfect, like pretty much everyone on the planet, but they had the right heart. I was never afraid for my safety when I was with them, quite the opposite, but I had made the mistake of placing them on a pedestal. After the fall of mankind (found in Genesis 3), we know with a certainty that anyone we place on a pedestal is bound to fall. Let’s face it: there is an unlimited number of ways that we can mess up and let others down – including ourselves.
It’s a terrifying position to be in. I know that I’m going to stumble and fall, I know that I’m going to let my kiddos down – how can I not when I’m a member of the fallen world? But when Jesus walked on this earth, He taught that there’s grace for that, too, while teaching about the true heart of God.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or what person is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf of bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? So if you, despite being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:7-11 NASB
As I’ve pondered about this well-known passage, I have to admit that I’ve struggled. I question and doubt decisions made regarding our kiddos because I want to give them a good life while also preparing them for the future. I want them to have every advantage – especially the ones I didn’t have. But some advantages come with a cost, don’t they?
A friend of ours recently shared with my hubby that he was irritated with a well-known company. He had bought his kiddos each an electronic device and had set them up on a channel for children… only to find out that the content was filled with LGBTQ+ material – and his kiddos are 5 and 2! They were trying to give their kiddos fish, but they inadvertently gave them snakes instead.
The cost of parenthood goes deep, but one that keeps coming to mind with my own kiddos is that I’m not in their lives to be their friend. I’m in their lives to help them become upstanding adults who can successfully navigate through life. Sometimes I have to tell them no when they ask for things. This leads to one of the parts that I love about the Matthew 7 passage above. The meaning of to ask, to seek, and to knock is actually to keep asking, to keep seeking, and to keep knocking.
My kiddos aren’t ready to have their own technological devices. Not that they would do anything intentionally bad, but they’re not ready for the barrage, the onslaught, of dangers that lurk on even the children’s channels. There’s a level of maturity and responsibility that comes with having their own devices. I have to say no… at least for now.
Isn’t it interesting how this is very similar to how it is with God? When Jesus died on the cross, His sacrifice afforded us the right to call him Father. If we accept His offer of salvation, we’re choosing to submit to His authority as our Father. We’re telling Him that we want Him to determine what’s best for us and when.
My gut response to my kiddos is yes to about 98% of their requests (I withhold that 2% for the obvious things that would surely kill them), but I say no far more than I say yes. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to have those things they request, but I know that those things, if given at the wrong time, would hurt them! I read a book by Joshua Harris in the late 90’s that I caught 1 single thing from: the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.
God wants us to ask Him for things, but He’ll only say yes if it is the absolute right timing. While we hear this truth, we tend to not always believe it. We’ve experienced more than our fair share of no or not right now. Instead of trusting, we tend to doubt. Worse yet, sometimes those doubts turn into doubting God’s love for us!
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32 NASB
I wrote last week about deliberately spending time with God – seeking Him – and the promise that goes with it. If you missed it, be sure to check out A Dynamite Challenge. My focus was centered on this scripture:
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 NASB
Keep seeking, keep knocking, and all those things that you’ve been asking about, keep asking. As you seek His kingdom and His righteousness, you’re being prepared for all those things that you’ve been asking for and about. You’re learning which doors you should be knocking on, and the things you desire to ask for start lining up with His kingdom. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking.
My kiddos know that the answer to them having a phone or social media or unlimited access to technology without supervision is a resounding no, but they also know that the time will come that the answer will be a yes. Because they know my heart for them, they know that it’s not because I’m trying to deprive them of something, but because I’m sparing them from trouble.
Do we trust that God has our best interest at heart? Or do we accuse Him of withholding blessings from us? Do you think God will give you a stone when you ask for bread? If God were stingy, He wouldn’t have sent His Son to die for us. Instead, He supplies our needs according to something beyond our comprehension. According to Philippians 4:19, He supplies all of our needs according to His riches in glory. According to Ephesians 3:20, He answers us beyond what we can ask or even imagine.
Keep on asking, keep on seeking, and keep on knocking. He’ll never let you down. He’ll exceed your expectations when you keep on keeping on.