You know those sayings that tend to get passed down from generation to generation? They mean one thing, usually the more obvious, but there can certainly be a deeper meaning. My grandmother used to say to me, how do you expect to get clean dishes when you’re washing ’em in a dirty sink? She would literally be talking about dishes and cleaning the sink out before filling it with hot, sudsy water… but I felt there could be a deeper meaning when I thought back over those moments.
You’ve probably heard the more serious one, actions speaking louder than words… or don’t count your chickens before they hatch… or even the more juvenile one of poop or get off the pot… I bet you’ve heard some of your own, haven’t you? You should share your favorites in the comment section.
We have kiddos at almost every stage. Seriously, we currently have a 4yo, 9yo, 11yo, 13yo, and a 23yo – and the 11yo is about to be 12. We have ABC’s being sung in one moment, but the next there’s a voice cracking while belting out Josiah Queen. We have one who holds the record for sassiness who is continuing to learn how to rein in that fire while still letting it burn, and we have one who seems to find compatibility with any age range as long as they’re interested in chatting. And our adult… well, we’ve crossed the bridge from being her parents to having a comforting friendship.
Needless to say, our words of wisdom – our catchy phrases that we hope will stick – have a wide range between the serious and the juvenile. One of the things we’ve been talking about more regularly as of late has had to do with integrity, but also with security. Come to us even when you don’t think you can.
We all want our kiddos to have integrity. We want them to do the right thing when no one is looking. We want them to always speak the truth and speak it in love. But we all make mistakes, don’t we. I make mistakes all the time. But what we’re trying to drill into our kiddos is that we don’t expect perfection, but we want them to have the security of knowing they can always come to us. Even when you don’t think you can.
If they get into a car accident – even if it’s their fault – we want them to come to us. They know we’re not going to simply bail them out, but we want them to know that we’ll help them navigate through the legalities, the insurance hoops, and through any consequences that are a result of their wrong turn (maybe a pun intended?).
If you look at Genesis 3:1-6, we can clearly see that Adam and Eve messed up by eating the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They were deceived. They made a very poor choice. And they hid from God, didn’t they? But God knew and He went looking for them.
In Genesis 3:14-19, we can see that God listed out the consequences for all involved (even gave a preview of what Jesus would do to the serpent). He was just and His word held absolute authority. But look at one of the next verses:
And the Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them. Genesis 3:21 NASB
God didn’t remove the consequences, but He did provide a covering for them. He saw that what they tried to cover themselves with wasn’t adequate (fig leaves) and gave them something better that would help them as they faced the unknown outside of the garden. Even the covering that God provided was a picture of Jesus’ sacrifice to come.
It’s as though God was saying, until the consequences have run their course, I’m with you and I’ll take care of you while you go through it.
“Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 NASB
“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NASB
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will also uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NASB
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. Isaiah 43:2 NASB
These are just a few passages that God reminds us that He will be with us, that we can come to Him in our troubles, and that He will help us. It amazes me that so many people believe they cannot go to God when they’ve messed up.
My husband had messed up (this was before I was in the picture of his life) and had this idea that he couldn’t talk with God for three days. This really upset him because he was always talking with God. He walked to school and would fill that time by talking (aloud) with God. Yes, I’m sure there were people who thought he wasn’t right in the head, but he didn’t seem to notice or care.
For two days he trudged through with not talking with God and was looking forward to the next day… but then he messed up again. No! Not another three days! As soon as the thought went through his mind, he heard God say, why can’t you talk with me – I’m right here and have been here the whole time.
Don’t misunderstand – God hates sin. But sin was thoroughly dealt with on the cross. Sin no longer separates us from God – the veil was torn. Sin is not what will send people to hell – the rejection of Jesus will do that (John 3:18). This doesn’t mean we should go out and sin as much as possible. Sin hurts us! But we serve One who has already defeated sin.
This is the message we want to drive home in our kiddos: they can come to us even when they don’t think they can. We don’t want them hiding in shame while we seek them out. We want them to have such a profound understanding of how much we love them that they won’t consider trying to fix it on their own. Whether it’s a mistake they made, a poor choice, or an accident – we want them to come to us knowing that we’ll have their back.
And that’s what God wants us to do. He wants us to call out to Him, to get our strength from Him, and to find peace in His presence when our souls are so weary. I’m so thankful that this is God’s idea for His kiddos. And we want to pass it on to our own.