I saw a comedy skit a while back that was horrible and funny at the same time. It had to do with names and being able to remember them. The comedian had met someone and decided to apply his ways of remembering – the main way for him was to use the name several times. The man had introduced himself as Jathon. It’s nice to meet you, Jathon. Wow, that’s an interesting name, Jathon. What do you do for a living, Jathon? The man looked at the comedian and said, Theriously?
Names can be fun, especially these days. When we set out to picking names for each of our kiddos, we looked pretty closely at their meanings, but there were several that wouldn’t even make it that far. One of us had a bad experience with someone in our childhood that forever tainted a name, and some were simply not considered because of a negative that’s been attached to it over the course of history – Adolf Hitler, anyone? There’s one name in the Bible that’s always held a negative connotation that I recently heard a new angle on – and the vastness of grace became even deeper as I looked into it more.
Get out your Bible and let’s take a look at who I’ve always known as Doubting Thomas.
We’re mainly looking at John 20:19-25. So in the verses before, Jesus has risen from the grave, He’s appeared and spoken with Mary Magdalene, and she’s announced to the disciples that she has seen the Lord (John 20:1-18). The disciples have heard this but have locked the doors where they’re staying. They’re hunkered down out of fear of the Jews. Jesus appears in the locked room and greets them with Peace be with you. He shows them His hands and side as proof and then they start rejoicing.
But Thomas wasn’t there.
I remember when my brother told me that he did a back flip on the trampoline. Yeah… right. That was my initial thought. But I was also extremely curious to see if it was true. We grew up in the days of building ramps out of anything we could get our hands on – scrap plywood and two by fours that still had nails in it, cinder blocks, old tires – you get the idea. And my brother dared all of the ramps we built. Maybe he did manage a successful back flip, but I required proof. His friends might have seen it, but unless I saw it, did it really happen? For those who want to know, yes… it really happened.
Now Thomas is hearing all of this after the fact and tells the disciples that he has to see proof to believe it. Notice that he’s simply wanting the same thing the others already received. And I hope you’ll also notice that the disciples didn’t start rejoicing until after they saw Jesus’ hands and side. Well, I think Thomas shouldn’t have been pegged with what we see as a character flaw – Doubter. He wants to see and experience the same from Jesus that the others received. Now let’s take a look at John 20:26.
This is eight days later and the disciples are again hunkered down in a locked room. My question is why would they lock the door? Are they still afraid? Even after they’ve seen the risen Christ? They’ve experienced His presence, they saw the proof of His resurrection, they received the Holy Spirit, and they can stand victorious with Him… but they were still in fear.
Maybe it shouldn’t be Doubting Thomas at all, but rather it should be Doubting Disciples.
I would wager that you’ve had moments of doubt. Maybe even months or years of doubt. I’m over here wrestling with doubt daily. And the sayings meant to comfort, passed on by well-meaning people, have started to fall flat. God is good, He’ll see you through this… If it’s not good, then God’s not done… Just give it all to God… They all sound good, but over time it becomes harder and harder to take hold of the comfort they’re supposed to offer. Sometimes our doubt can harden our hearts, can’t it?
Like me, you might be familiar with the sayings about faith (they sound cliche, but they are actually true): Mustard-seed-size faith can move mountains (Sometimes I feel like my faith is smaller than a speck of dust)… Don’t just tell God about your mountain, tell your mountain about your God (There are times I feel as though God is too far away to help with my mountains)… God is bigger than your ups and downs (Really?)… The storm doesn’t matter as long as you have God in your boat (I have a boat?).
And a favorite of mine: We already have the victory (Hard to find comfort in that one when we might be feeling as though we’ve lost everything).
There are way too many times that I hear what others have experienced or done in their walk with God – ways that He’s come through and showed off for them – and I’m wondering Why not me? I feel a lot like Thomas. We may not know it through scripture, but I can imagine that Thomas had a bit of envy while sitting there in that locked room with at least ten people who had seen Jesus.
Someone else – even someone I love – tells me about what God has done… but I want it done for me, too. I don’t just want to hear about it, I want to see it. I want to experience it. Jesus healed the leper (Mark 1:40-45)… I want to experience that He’s not just able, but that He’s also willing to heal me, too. Jesus didn’t just heal the woman with the issue of blood, but He restored her identity (Luke 8:43-48)… I want to never question my identity as His daughter again.
Do you feel a connection with Thomas? Perhaps you’ve read passage after passage of Jesus healing all who came to Him… but you’ve watched someone you love suffer. Or maybe you’re suffering and it’s getting harder and harder to hold on to faith. Maybe it’s provision… you work and struggle through but the paycheck never seems to reach the end of the month or cover all of the bills. Yet scriptures detail Jesus turning water into wine (John 2:1-11) and feeding thousands with mere scraps – twice (Matthew 14:13-21, Matthew 15:32-38)!
While Thomas hasn’t been celebrated as someone of strong faith, I appreciate that scripture shows that he simply asked for what the other disciples had already received. But what has really encouraged me – more than the fact that I’m probably a bigger doubter than Thomas – is that Jesus didn’t leave him in his doubt. Jesus appeared again specifically for him.
Sometimes it feels as though everyone else has this super strong faith because they’ve experienced an encounter. Maybe they’ve received miraculous healings, provisions, or protections. But you’re over there treading water and praying for Someone to rescue you… maybe you’re not even sure if God hears you crying out.
But Jesus appeared the second time, in a locked room that was occupied by people who were living in fear… for Thomas.
He came back for Thomas and this is a promise that He’ll come back for you, too. Jesus didn’t shame Thomas for requiring proof – He responded to His doubt in love.
While we may not have Jesus appear for us to touch His pierced hands and side, He will make Himself known to us. We’ll find that we’re a lot more like Thomas than we originally thought – and in a good way. We’ll respond to Him in awe and wonder with My Lord and my God! (John 20:28).
The most honest declarations typically come from a place of struggle, and Thomas is no different. But his doubt was met with grace… and his doubt was transformed into solid certainty. Let’s allow God to meet us in our struggles (I’m saying this to myself as much as anyone else). Like Thomas, have faith that God will make Himself real specifically to you. We’ll be able to open the doors that were previously locked – no matter what our names are – because we can be confident in Who we belong to: a living, loving, and victorious God.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 NLT