I’m Not Even Sorry

(italics added to scripture for emphasis)

I spent a lot of time in my twenties watching the sitcom “Friends.” I was a single mom and a lot of what the characters faced over the course of the show I could relate to. I also found comfort in the portrayal of six people who became family for each other. I quote one-liners from the show on a daily basis, I send gifs to friends of, well, the friends, and I still consider the show a favorite. That being said, I’ve also gone back to watch the show since getting married, having more children, and re-igniting my faith with the knowledge that there are oceans of grace yet to be explored – and the show doesn’t sit well with me anymore the way it once did.

Joey, the not-so-bright friend, loves food and women – in that order. He carries a fork with him in the event that there’s cheesecake be salvaged from the floor. He’s always ready for another helping of lasagna, another slice of pizza, and eats, with gusto, desserts that “tastes like feet.” He even gets the “meat sweats” and still requires an ample slice of pie. I’m sure there’s a message on gluttony that I could go into; perhaps another day. One episode that comes to mind has a big focus on the fact that “Joey doesn’t share food!”

Throughout the episode, character after character attempts to have a bite or a taste of some of the food that Joey has at that moment – a muffin, French fries, grapes, stuffed clams – and Joey, trying to get his point across, gets louder and louder: “Joey doesn’t share food!” But the tables are turned when his date orders a dessert that he wants instead of what he ordered. Here’s a short clip to give you some insights into this particular side of Joey:

I love how Joey is so childlike in his attempt to not eat his date’s dessert. And then he convinces himself that he’ll be okay with just a taste – and immediately knows that he’s in trouble – he just can’t help himself. His date comes back to see her plate is licked clean and Joey has chocolate all over his face. His response? “I’m not even sorry!”

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

I was reading in Isaiah, prompted by a short devotional from a pastor I follow, and noticed something I hadn’t before.

“As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11 (NIV)

Rain and snow have so many “levels,” don’t they? We refer to our weather precipitation as many different things: a sprinkle, steady, downpour, deluge. Then there’s snow: we have flurries, squalls, and blizzards, just to name a few. All of them describing the intensity level of the rain or snow fall.

I recall there being times that I was driving home from work and would have to pull over because the rain coming down would be so heavy and intense that I couldn’t proceed. Windshield wipers working overtime didn’t help, visibility was a joke – I could only see water – and the cacophony of the water beating overhead and all around me was almost too much to bear. I remember feeling anxious about my safety – I couldn’t see, so that meant other motorists were probably having the same problem. I would turn the music down and still wouldn’t be able to hear the hazards with their rhythmic blinking; just the rain.

In Exodus 16, we learn that God rained down bread from heaven to feed the Israelites (vs 4) and because they were unhappy with the blessing of the type of food, God provided meat for them (vs 13). Further, in chapter 17, God brought water out of a rock so they could be hydrated – in the desert (vs 6)! When David writes about this in Psalm 78, I can’t help but envision a group of spoiled, ungrateful brats.

“He split the rocks in the desert and gave them water as abundant as the seas; he brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers.” Psalm 78:15-16 (NIV)

There’s a mention of abundance…

“They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. They spoke against God, saying, ‘Can God spread a table in the desert? When he struck the rock, water gushed out, and streams flowed abundantly. But can he also give us food? Can he supply meat for his people?'” Psalm 78:19-20 (NIV)

Another mention of abundance. I also read that and can hear the sarcasm dripping off every word – can you imagine the nerve? They demand certain food (they know what they need better than God) and then they question whether or not He can do it! Let’s read on:

“When the Lord heard them, he was very angry; his fire broke out against Jacob, and his wrath rose against Israel, for they did not believe in God or trust in his deliverance.” Psalm 78:21-22 (NIV)

Notice that God wasn’t angry because they were being disrespectful, insolent, or insubordinate. He was angry because they didn’t believe in or trust him. Hmm… something to chew on.

“Yet he gave a command to the skies above and opened the doors of the heavens; he rained down manna for the people to eat, he gave them the grain of heaven. Men ate the bread of angels; he sent them all the food they could eat.” Psalm 78:23-25 (NIV)

Is there such a thing as “more abundance?” Even in His anger, God not only provided the basic needs of food and water, but He did so in abundance and with abundant grace! Throughout scripture, we see that God’s “level” is always set to abundance! He didn’t just free the Israelites from Egypt, but he brought them out with silver and gold! They weren’t malnourished or bent over from a lifetime of slavery; God brought them out with riches and none were feeble! (Psalm 105:37) And then they were able to eat bread from heaven – in abundance! (see Psalm 78:26-29)

In the Old Testament we see over and over again that God fed His children food to eat (a lot of it being bread), water to drink, and abundance on top of abundance. Then Jesus arrives on the scene in the New Testament with a powerful statement:

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.'” John 6:35 (NIV)

The Israelites were provided with bread from heaven that could only be stored in relation to the Sabbath. Jesus just introduced himself as the Bread of Life after feeding the 5,000 (that’s just the men) with 5 small barley loaves and 2 small fish. It’s as if He were trying to get a point across: You think you like that food – it spoils, but I am THE food that NEVER spoils – come on, just have a small taste.

Since I’ve tasted, I’ve truly seen that the Lord is good. There are times in which I almost feel gluttonous! And like Joey, I’m not even sorry. I want the deluge of the Bread of Life; to hear the cacophony drown out all the other noises and distractions. I want the waters to come rushing out of the rocks so much that they fill the oceans. Unlike Joey, I want to share this food.

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