It’s so easy to get caught up in, well, everything. In my post, Unmasked (the 1st in the Identification Please series), I mentioned badges, hats, and masks. I’ve also mentioned that I’m working on memorizing Psalm 91 (I’m halfway through!). Add all of those together and you get… this post!
I have to do word association with most everything to keep things straight. It doesn’t always help me call my own kiddos by the right name (Sorry, Sara… I mean, Gracie… I mean… one of you). When I decided to memorize Psalm 91, I knew it was going to be a challenge, but I also knew it would be well worth the effort. I’ve only gotten through 8 verses and already know that initial assumption was true. I’ve used a bit of every memorization trick I know, but one has stood out to me and really drilled itself in. But before I move forward on that, let’s get back to badges, hats, and masks.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve worn the badge of Preacher’s Kid and experienced both the good and bad side of that particular one. I’ve also had many titles (kind of like badges and hats). I’ve done waitressing and bartending. I’ve sprayed shoes at a bowling alley. I’ve done photography and helium balloon bouquets. I did a 12 year stint in the banking world, and before “retiring” I was immersed for almost 5 years in insurance claims and coordinating a dental office. During those last 2, I was also a wife and mother.
With the expectations in this world – for men and women alike – it’s no wonder that there’s so many suffering from simply not knowing who they are. What are the ways we identify ourselves? It’s in what we do, who we’re married to, the friends we run with, and even the church we attend. We hang flags in our yards, slap bumper stickers on our vehicles (after we’ve found the vehicle in the color that defines us), and feel validated as a person when we have a sense of belonging in this group or with that cause. But is this what we’re to be identified by?
As a wife and mother, I have so many identifying characters that I could bore you! I’m sure it’s cycled through social media, but you should Google the job description of being a mom. It’s extensive. But is that who I am? What about the times I fail at being the mom I’m supposed to – or need to – be? These little failures, big and small, happen every day! Does that mean I’m no longer a mom? Does that mean I can no longer call myself by that title – no longer allowed to wear the badge/hat? Ridiculous, right? I’m a mother and will always be a mother. But is that who I am?
While memorizing Psalm 91, I’ve purposed to not rush through it to simply reach the goal and check the box. I’m taking my time, not because I’m slow (well…) but because I want this passage memorization to last longer than a few days before eventually fading. For some, this may sound boring, but I recite this passage every single day. Every. Single. Day. My little tricks to help me in memorizing the passage will flit through my mind occasionally, but with each day, I have found that I don’t rely on them as much. The one that doesn’t seem to go away is related to verse 2.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2 NIV
I picture myself standing before doubters, people who either don’t believe, are afraid to believe, or those who are simply mocking those who do believe. I picture myself with 1 finger pointed, ready to make a definitive point: He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. When you get right down to it, that’s a pretty bold statement. Saying it – believing it in your core being – means you have utmost faith in God to save you, protect you, and never let you down. NEVER.
It all boils down to faith. All of it. Who and what you believe yourself to be is all about faith.
“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” Isaiah 40:8 NIV
That word, word, is from the Hebrew dabar. As a verb, it means to formalize or to deliberately establish and pronounce something’s name or definition – it then becomes real (think of creation – all from words). As a noun, it means word. In this passage, it is coupled with YHWH (Yahweh) which confirms His word as a promise. He is faithful. “…my God, in whom I trust.”
I had moments as a Preacher’s Kid in which I played and looked the part well (mmm, mostly). There are times I rock the mom gig. More times than I can count, though, I have failed in many of the ways I “find” my identity. He. Never. Will. His identity is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow… forever.
When I stand before God, I have no plan to rattle off the titles I’ve had, the badges or hats I’ve worn, and I don’t think it would be possible to wear a mask in His presence. How can I state and affirm my identity as something in which I’ve failed time and time again? We’ve all heard about the dangers of standing on the good deeds we’ve done to prove ourselves worthy – the ways we’ve strived to do everything Jesus would have done (WWJD) and have allowed grace to pick up our slack here and there – and that’s a great lesson. But so much of our identity is found in what we do. It’s time we find our identity in Him. Where He never fails.
He is my God, in whom I trust. He is my identity. My identity, the righteousness of Christ (II Corinthians 5:21), will never fail because it depends on THE ONE who NEVER FAILS. My identity is not that I’m a wife (yep, fail), as a mother (mmhmm, fail), as a this or that (fail in this and fail in that). My identity, if ever it’s to be a true identity, has to be that I am His. None of the other stuff matters, none of the other badges, hats, or masks can stand without faltering, and everything in this world is temporary. Except Him. He is my God, in whom I trust.
When I stopped looking at all of the ways I was identified and defined (work, relationships, hobbies, etc.) and started to remind myself over and over again about Who I belonged to, I experienced a peace that I can’t express with words.
I am… RANSOMED
I am… REDEEMED
I am… RESTORED
I am… RECONCILED
I am… HIS