How many parents have experienced those moments of what-were-they-thinking? Sometimes I’ll look at my kiddos and turn around and walk away, shaking my head in wonder. More often than not, I’m silently giving thanks for how remarkably well our kiddos get along with each other. We have really good kiddos. My opinion is a bit biased, I know, but when I receive consistent compliments from strangers when we go out, I’ve come to believe that they really are good kiddos.
Our son, at 8 years old, holds the door open for our family and anyone else who might be in the procession of those entering (or exiting) a restaurant. If someone holds the door for us, all three will say thank you to the one showing kindness. Lunchtime in our home is usually a time I’m pretty proud of in regard to our kiddos. No longer do I have to (or need to) make lunch for the oldest 3 living under our roof. For the most part, the 8 and 5 year old tag team with making peanut butter and jelly and our 10 year old will help to measure out the allowed amount of goldfish crackers or pretzels. We have really good kiddos.
Since the 3 of them are homeschooled (and almost always finish their work by lunchtime) they have become each other’s best friend. They use their imaginations together, they create together, they dream together, and they laugh together more often than not. We have really good kiddos… well… mostly.
There have been the occasional times where the bickering seems to have no end. Harsh tones are used out of frustration, one of them resorts to name calling, another might lash out with hitting someone in the arm, one of them does both, another gives into tears of frustration, and a few minutes of time apart works wonders. This is all usually brought on when cleaning their rooms is required. Especially for the girls (they share… against their will).
But they’re really good kiddos.
That’s kind of how I view myself at times. I’m mostly good. I’m mostly likeable, mostly nice, mostly kind, mostly loving, occasionally selfless, mostly, sometimes, and definitely not perfect.
As a kiddo, I saw myself as good. I went to church all the time and gave my ten percent (whether I liked it or not – even off of birthday checks!). But I didn’t always get along with my brother, there were times I didn’t honor my parents, I wasn’t always truthful, and I acquired a lip gloss that I didn’t pay for. There were people I didn’t like and I they knew it, I was envious of things my friends had (pool, Barbies, junk food, cable television, going on vacation to Disney), I had several daydreams about kissing a boy I had a crush on at the time, and I started to feel the mounting weight of continuous inadequacy. My mostly good was nowhere near good enough (even if only in thought, I couldn’t help but be evil).
I was a failure. I was never going to be able to be good enough. Not good enough for my parents, not good enough for God, and I knew that none of the good I tried to do was sustainable. Even the things I was able to do (church attendance and tithing) I was doing it wrong. I didn’t always want to go to church, and my tithe was often given quite grudgingly. Yep, I was just like Cain (Genesis 4:3-9) – he and I both gave, but we gave grudgingly. I also recall having hateful thoughts towards my brother (and others).
My mostly good had me rightly labeled as a thieving, adulterous, lying, covetous, murdering kiddo who wanting nothing more than to not keep the Sabbath holy. But what are all of these labels derived from? Well, they’re brought to you by the Big Ten – aka, the Ten Commandments. Yep, I was dead in my sins – even the sins that were simply going through my mind. A goner; someone who would never measure up.
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. Ephesians 2:1-3 NIV
Upon reading this, I couldn’t help but notice that the two words, transgressions and sins are both used. Aren’t they the same thing? As I delved into this a bit further, I discovered that there’s a subtle difference.
Transgressions (from the Greek paraptoma) refers to reckless and willful sinning. It is a conscious violation of right and involves guilt. It is knowing that you’re choosing to do something that is a violation of God’s righteous character.
Sins (from the Greek hamartiais) is to simply miss the mark. It is any violation of God’s righteous character – it can be in anything we say, do, think, dream, or plan.
High school, ugh! I remember at least a handful of transgressions (paraptoma). Those times that I knew that I knew that I knew what I was doing was wrong. I even felt guilty before, during and after! I knew right from wrong and still chose to do that which was opposed to God. If anyone back then knew that I claimed to be a Christian, they wouldn’t have believed me. I was following the ways of the world, trying to gratify the cravings of the flesh. I was dead and deserving of God’s wrath.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7 NIV
…it is by grace you have been saved… It’s the you have been part that I zeroed in on with this time reading it. There are so many sermons and teachings I’ve listened to or read that focus on the word saved. It comes from the Greek word sozo which means to rescue from great peril, to protect, keep alive, preserve life, deliver, heal, be made whole – basically, physical and spiritual salvation. Sozo is used in the perfect tense. This means that it’s a completed action with enduring effects. Paul still wasn’t satisfied with this. He didn’t want to just show the existence of finished results in present time, but he wanted to make sure it was understood. This is where the you have been comes in.
Those 3 words, you have been, are wrapped up in 1 Greek word: este. This word is used as a verb in the present tense. This means our salvation – our sozo – is a completed action with enduring effects that are continuous. This is like saying it was done, has been done, will always be done… forever and ever.
My mostly good doesn’t matter. My failings do not matter. My transgressions… my sins… they can’t touch the enduring action that brought me everything I could ever want or need. The chasm that stood between us and God was bridged, is still bridged and will always be bridged.
You may have been struggling with your failings, those purposeful or not, and wondered if this grace is enough for you, too. It was, it is and it always will be. Accept Him as your Sozo – the One who completed the action that was required that has enduring effects that are continuous forever and ever – Amen.