Cookies Over Cleaners

One of my most hated chores is cleaning the bath tub and shower. How can it get so incredibly dirty when there’s so much soap used in there? I’m sure the conditioner can be viewed as something to add a nice shiny finish, too. No. Obviously that’s not how it works. One peek at the selection of cleaners that stores offer can attest to that. 

In no way am I a “go green” person. I probably should be, but I’ve always been about getting the cleaner that will make scrubbing less painful on my arms.  Great! Now you’re picturing someone who has the “lunch-lady” arms (no offense). I’m actually in pretty good shape, even though I’d rather not feel all the scrubbing in my arms and back at the end of the day. When I worked in photography, my manager told me something that has stuck with me: work smart; not hard. Makes sense to me!

Now to choose the right cleaner for the dreaded job. Bubbles that scrub, with bleach, without bleach, antibacterial, ammonia free… the choices are endless! Price is a factor for me, as well. I would rather indulge on some ultimate chocolate chunk cookies (now you think I’m a junk food junkie – I am!) than spend so much on cleaners. What is a frugal cookie lover to do? I discovered the answer in a strange way.

My husband and father-in-law build houses. Actually, they design and build with many personal touches. I love the custom built cabinets and pantry for my kitchen. What they’re able to do really sets my home apart from other houses. I’ve digressed. When we moved into our Alaskan cabin, the septic system was not quite complete. You know what that means! While we were able to shower and do dishes inside, any toilet using had to be done outside. They were kind enough to provide a wooden outhouse with a door and a toilet seat over the hole, but I can tell you that I wasn’t about to clean that bathroom! I was also pregnant, with a bladder that failed at the smallest chuckle, so this was an adventure I was happy to see end.

They were able to get the septic system completed after three months of outhouse use. I’ll share more stories about the wildlife encounters we had during the days of the outhouse in later blogs. For now we’ll get back to cleaners. With the new septic system, there was something new I learned (aside from my new appreciation for indoor plumbing). Not all soaps and cleaners are made for all septic systems. Have you ever noticed on the labels of some cleaners the statement, “septic safe”? I hadn’t, but now I had to consider this. Bleach and anything that was antibacterial could not go down the drains. Something about how the waste is broken down. I’d never considered it before.

What was I going to do? My favorite cleaner was lemon scented bleach! It’s so versatile and handy with stains and smells. Now it was banned. Rejected. When I was informed that my favorite household cleaner was no longer welcome, all I could think about was going to the store for my ultimate cookies. But I’m a survivor. I’d make do with the choices I was given. Household cleaner or chocolate chunk cookies? I chose cookies.

While sulking on the cleaning supplies isle at our local (and only) Wal-Mart, I kept checking my cart to make sure my cookies were still there. Cookies, yes; problem of finding a new, septic safe cleaning agent solved, no. It was insanity! I must have been on that one isle for almost an hour. Either it was septic safe with all the scrubbing left to me, or it would neutralize the breakdown of our waste. The waste had to break down properly because I was not going back to the outhouse so soon.

I chose something that I didn’t much believe in, but would probably do the job of earning me a full body, deep tissue massage. I took my purchases home and indulged in some milk and cookies. Oh, the magic of milk and ultimate chunk heaven! I forgot all about the new cleaner until two days later when the bath tub and shower needed to be scrubbed. While the bottle stated that it was septic safe, it made my eyes burn and turned the air foul. How I missed my lemon scented bleach! This new cleaner wasn’t cutting it. It didn’t cut it with the chemical fumes launching into the air (I know – bleach has fumes, too) and setting my eyes on fire, and it didn’t do a very good job – even after earning that massage (still haven’t indulged on that). I started dreading the next trip to Wal-Mart. I had better things to do than hang out on the cleaning isle. But maybe I’d pick up some more cookies… since I’d be there anyway.

I was brushing my teeth one night and pondering this. Brush, spit, rinse; time for baking soda. While I hate the taste, I’ve found that rinsing with hydrogen peroxide and then brushing with baking soda will whiten teeth. I mentioned that I’m frugal and teeth whitening products are so expensive. I drink coffee and tea, but I don’t want my teeth to look like it. As I flashed my pearly whites and sighed with satisfaction, it hit me! Why not try baking soda on the tub? 

The next day, while my husband and father-in-law were off building, the kids were either at school or napping, I tried out my idea. Not only did it work, but it worked better than even my lemon scented bleach!  There were no fumes; my eyes didn’t turn red or burn, and the best part: my arms and back didn’t feel a thing! When the guys came in for lunch, I was literally beaming and bouncing. I ushered my husband into the bathroom, making sure his eyes stayed closed for the dramatic reveal, and threw back the curtain! Tada! He was impressed, but showed little enthusiasm. Oh well, I was on cloud nine! I jumped on the internet to learn more about this amazing product. 

Here’s a quick list of self-care and cleaning uses for my new favorite box of joy:

• Acne treatment
• Exfoliating scrub
• Soothe sunburns & other skin irritations
• Hand & foot scrub for softness (and odor control)
• Removes product build-up in hair
• Teeth whitening
• Deodorant (again, odor control – some people are smelly!)
• Heartburn (when taken internally – see instructions on box for details)
• Studies are in progress for slowing kidney disease and improving some cancer treatments
• Cleaning fruits & vegetables
• Laundry booster
• Unclog drains
• Deodorize garbage disposals (Um, Odors-R-Us!)
• Carpet freshener
• Tough stain remover (coffee pots and burned pans, look out!)
• Scratch-free bathtub cleaner (my favorite)

There are so many more uses, but I don’t want to deprive you of the joy of discovery. I could have Googled cleaning product options that wouldn’t damage the septic system (so happy to have an indoor potty!), but it’s a self-satisfying feeling to get there all on my own. I’ve now found that I’m not just crazy for the ultimate chocolate chunked cookies: I’m crazy for baking soda, too! Happy cleaning and make sure to try the cookies (they’re so good)!