Collection of Tears

I’m a crier. It doesn’t take much and it’s not just when I’m post-partum. I’ll watch a video of military families being reunited after long deployments and will be in need of a highly absorbent towel to mop up the tears. Stories of children being declared cancer-free after prolonged treatments that nearly broke them and their parents are even worse on my tear ducts. When someone is crying about a loved one who has passed away, this will also bring mirrored emotions regardless of whether I knew the person who is being mourned or not. There are times that I can’t even read through an emotion-invoking story or article without crying. I am a crier.

I recently saw a picture on social media of a 5 yr old girl comforting her 4 yr old brother. The 4 yr old had no hair to speak of and was standing, slumped over a toilet, wearing pajamas, and reportedly sick from his cancer treatment. He had his hands on the toilet seat, head down and his sister stood at his side with her arm around his shoulders. The point being made was about how small our problems are in comparison. I teared up just typing this out…

In the world, right now, there are struggles that we can barely fathom. There are tears being cried, feelings of hopelessness, people frozen in fear and anxiety, and heartache that we can scarcely imagine. From the events in one country alone, families have gotten the dreaded knock at the door, have been on the tarmac when their loved one is delivered home in a flag-covered box, and are soon to be presented with a neatly folded flag while hearing “Taps” being played in the background. And countless tears have been, and will be, shed.

Other reports have come in regarding the underground churches. Men, women, and children have reportedly been slaughtered while refusing to deny Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Heard over a last call home, expressing a supernatural joy, a peace that we cannot begin to understand this side of Heaven, they entered an everlasting rest in the embrace of their Father. Tears were shed – and family and friends shed tears now for the evil manner of their deaths and the loss of their earthly presence. So many mourn with them.

There are so many tears, impossible for us to count, just from the tragic events in one country. Tears born from fear and grief will look for someone to blame. Presidents past and present, military advisors and officers, and a divided nation of people our country had tried to help for the past 20 years – all are easy marks for placing blame. All hold a portion of responsibility. Then there’s the hundreds of millions who held voting power – whether they used it or not; that voted in the powers that be who made the decisions that led to so many tears being shed. The blame can be placed, placed again, and placed again ad nauseum. All the way back to the first deception.

I say all this, not to excuse any said party, but to highlight that there is evil at work in this world. Some will use these tragic events to point accusing fingers at God, citing that He’s sovereign. While sovereign is defined as being supreme, independent, the utmost rank or power, and excellent, it has been twisted to mean that nothing can happen but what God wills or allows. This doctrine is born out of convenience and is far from being scriptural. God wills for everyone to be saved (II Peter 3:9), but we know that not everyone will accept Jesus’ free gift of forgiveness. For more on this topic, please take a look at my post Love That Builds.

At this moment, there are so many people hurting. Releasing silent screams of anguish, they may be thinking that God has forsaken them – much like how Jesus cried out on the cross (Matthew 27:46). But there is a spark of hope to be found. There is comfort in the crisis. Here are two of the most beautiful expressions of God’s everlasting love for us:

You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8 (NKJV)

Not only does God collect our tears – every single one – but He keeps track of what has caused them. He knows where we’ve been, He knows what has hurt us (whether from the devil, from our own making, or a result of living in a fallen world), and they matter to Him. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I have a problem with magnets. I have a collection (still considered small in my own opinion). Well, I have a greater affection for books. When we were gearing up to move out of Alaska, I had the near-impossible task of going through the books. All of them mattered to me – I couldn’t do it. Every heartbreak, every trial, every loss, and every mistreatment matters to Him. Why? Because we’re His kiddos.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49:15-16 (NKJV)

Being 4 weeks post-partum, I would face anything if it meant protecting my little one from being hurt. The love I have for her right now is reflected in meeting her daily needs: keeping her fed, clean, and warm are mere basics. I can’t help but go further by holding her, speaking blessings over her, rocking her, and having her rest on me. God knows everything about us – everywhere we go, every thought we think, and every word we say (Psalm 139). I can’t even do that with my kiddos and be right 100% of the time. To solidify just how important we are to Him, God went further. In ancient times, slaves would be branded with the mark of their master. Instead, we see in the scripture from Isaiah that God has marked Himself with us! While I have a few tattoos, I don’t have a tattoo for each of my kiddos (don’t plan on it either).

While I find tears closer to the surface right now when seeing our flag flying at half-mast, when I see and thank veterans for their service, and when I freely worship in church or in my own home, I know there are tears falling that are vastly heavier than mine. My prayers right now are so jumbled – for the families who have lost a loved one, for the families and churches who have lost entire family units, for the displaced refugees, for the family members separated from their loved ones, for those who managed to get out safely, and for those who are left behind. I pray they will feel the comfort from our Creator and God who loves them – and that they will one day forgive. I pray also for the world leaders – directly and indirectly involved. I pray for wisdom and forgiveness.

 

Allow God to heal the hurt. He knows exactly what it is, where it came from, and how to soothe it. Allow Him to take the collection of tears and turn them into something beautiful.

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