Ever gotten so tired that there doesn’t seem to be the right words to describe just how gosh darn tired you really are? You feel hit on all sides with demands, pressures, expectations, and areas where you feel that you’re almost failing or have already failed. The world we live in offers no real breaks, does it? We work hard just to have to keep on working hard. But we can never seem to get a real break.
I must confess that I take pride in how much I can get done in a short period of time. It seems that I’m always shooting for the title of Queen when it comes to time management. Work smart, not hard. I still think good time management is a valuable asset, but it can also be a huge stumbling stone. It’s nothing more than multi-tasking. Some people seem to be able to juggle a for a time and do very well, but all juggling acts have to come to an end, especially when the amount of what’s being juggled gradually increases.
Why is it that we seem to have this pressure on us? Not just financial pressures – that can be a huge burden by itself – but I’m talking about all of them that seem to team up to make war against us. These pressures and demands present themselves as something that’s good for us. Ever notice that? These demands force us to be busy. If we’re not busy, there must be something wrong with us. If we have a full schedule, we’re someone to be admired. We get a small break in our routine and people say that we deserve it.
We plan play dates for our kiddos (we have to socialize them), we drive them to and from school (apparently buses aren’t cool enough), we rush them to team practices and games (it’s good for them), we carve out time for going to the gym (but it’s not the priority), we shop online so we can fill that time with housework (I love clean smells), we rush through homework so showers before bed can be taken (education and personal hygiene for the win), and when the day is done, we can’t seem to grasp where the time went. School, appointments, work, play dates, sports, housework, yardwork, volunteering, church activities and Bible studies, and this, and that, and all of those things over there…
What is it that pushes us to fill our schedule to the breaking point? For me it was – and still often is – approval. When my husband and I were dating, his mom was getting remarried, and I was with the girls on the way to the ceremony. My now mother-in-law and sisters-in-law were doing last minute beauty things and they were needing things like tweezers and safety pins and bobby pins – things like that. Everything they needed, I had it all in my little purse. They referred to it (still to this day) as my Mary Poppins bag. Y’all, that did something for me. In that moment, I felt accepted, appreciated, and approved.
Well, if a Mary Poppins bag can give me all that, just imagine what I can get by not just having her bag! Even now, I usually think I should be able to have my house clean and tidy, our kiddos educationally scoring off the charts (they’re also clean and tidy in this world of pure fiction), and they’re always getting along (see? Fiction). Dinner should be an event complete with a fully set table when my hubby walks in from a long day at work, and my make-up, wardrobe and hair should always be perfectly in place. Everything is held together by perfectly timing the juggled balls. Busy is what leads to being accepted, appreciated, and approved.
Having a clean house and well-educated and clean children are not bad things, are they? It’s also not bad to honor and respect your husband and to take care with your personal appearance and hygiene. These are good things, but they can quickly become a big, dark, negative in our lives. These good things, done in our own strength, will crush us. Even the things we do outside the home (church stuff, extra-curricular activities, etc.) are good things that can crush us.
This incessant need to be busy can be for approval (yep, that’s typically me), and is nothing new. We’re always trying to prove ourselves, whether it’s at work, school, in the home, through activities, and even through relationships. We want to matter. We also might be afraid of what we discover about ourselves in the times of quiet. Personally, I think it stems back to a beautiful garden.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:1-5 NIV
In this passage, we not only learn of the first temptation, but also of when our identity-crisis started. God created us in His own image (Genesis 1:27). The devil convinced Adam and Eve to eat of the tree that would lead to spiritual death (separation from God), and he also led them to doubt their identity and significance. From that moment on, mankind has been on a mission to prove themselves. We don’t need help from God – we can sew these fig leaves together ourselves – cover our inadequacies, hide our shame. We can do it.
If we stay busy enough, no one will be able to look too closely at the poor job we did with the sewing of our fig leaves – they won’t see the ways we fail or the things we fear because there’s just too much to see. Eve added to what God commanded – He never said we weren’t allowed to touch it (Genesis 2:16-17) – and it was her downfall – and ours, too. We also add things into our lives – some good things – that take away from our true purpose and deplete us of our God-given identity.
The Pharisees did the same thing. They confused personal preference with divine law. By the time Christ came, the Pharisees had produced a heartless, arrogant brand or righteousness that became nothing but a burden of religion. It became strictly external and created a judgmental spirit. The people were tired. When we do out of fear, we will never win. When we do because of relational or societal pressures, we will wear ourselves out before we’re ever considered successful. When we do in and of ourselves, it’s never enough.
We seem to be stuck in a cycle of trying to be like God when we don’t even seem to recognize that our significance is found in being His image-bearers. Even today, the devil is deceiving us, making us think that we’re only good enough if we keep up with the busyness of the world. Do the part, look the part, or you’re not good enough. But what does God say we need to do?
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
The unforced rhythms of grace... That more than nullifies our Mary Poppins persona that we feel pressured to present. This is a lifestyle of keeping company with God. This is a picture of the reality we can experience – the walking out of the reversal of our spiritual death. He is the key to recovering life, taking a real rest, and learning to live freely and lightly.
It is only in God’s presence that we find rest and identity – distinguished from the rest of the world (Exodus 33:13-16). It’s only with God that we can have peace because He already overcame the world (John 16:33). Rest was made to meet our needs, not for us to try to prove that we deserve to have our needs met (Mark 2:27).
But it’s the rest that comes only from a relationship, a shared walk, with our Lord, Savior, Father, and Friend – Jesus Christ. When we operate apart from Him, we will experience our juggling act crashing down around us. But when we operate with Him, we’ll experience the unforced rhythms of grace.